Our company Christmas Party was last night and just like all company Christmas parties there was the wide range of employees, wives, husbands, dates and friends. The friends the dates and/or wives with fake body parts, fake jewelry. The annual battle of the Supervisors and their wives versus the Managers and their spouses is definitely worth seeing. Who sits with whom, do the Supervisors wives acknowledge each other with a handshake or maybe a hug or just a glance from across the room. The musical chair dance that takes place to see who sits with the owners seems to rival the TV show Survivor, “Outwit, Outplay Outlast”. Spouses move name cards; move drinks, move purses, and coats just to a closer seat to the owners as if the closer you sit the more valuable you are. The glances, the look the smugness of the winners and the jealousy of the losers add to the spectacle.

Managers that were in the hot seat a few days ago stand in the back as if they want to be invisible. A harmless incident the week of the party in past years has seen poor seating to a lesser bonus. Cautious glances from a spouse to a manager about where they sit can been seen when everyone takes a seat.

Whispers and close talking about who is sitting where and next to whom goes on for a few moments until a hush falls over the room, Who will be the first to get up and get in the buffet line. No one wants to be first and everyone is anxious to see “Who will be first?” Naturally I am always first, I don’t care and actually look forward to it to see who will be second and which manager and spouses will be last. The line is confusing with plates on both ends and different items on each side of a long table. People line up on different sides and crush into each other, someone spills a plate of rice and the usual comments of, “Is that all there is” is heard. No one wants to seem gluttonous or heavy handed, but it is obvious that some of the male spouses are very hungry. Heaping plates from the buffet and empting serving dishes are the result.

The late crowd shows up (a hour and half late), 5 managers and spouses and the buffet is out of food items and then the fun starts. The wait staff of the restaurant approaches the office manager to make sure that she understands that any extra portions will be added to the already agreed upon price. The office manager then goes from one table to another to see, “Who took all the food” While the late comers are getting their drinks, new fresh food is brought out and before the late managers have a chance to get plates, most of the “Hungry Man table” rushes to the servers and pretty much devours all of the new food brought in. It is then decided that rather than get “more” food the latecomers would each get a few extra free drinks. Everyone seems happy until it is discovered much later that all ten, (5 managers and spouses) are under 21. How many late people will there be next year?





The groups that show up at the party vary from the newlyweds to the couples that really only see each other at the yearly Christmas Party. The new managers that have never been to the party are nervous and clearly afraid that they will make a faux pau of some sort that will haunt them for decades. Older more senior managers arrive, rarely are they dressed formally, usually just a coat, no tie or just a long sleeve shirt, no tie or coat. Their wives are dressed up as if this is the only formal function they attend all year. They wear lots of jewelry, make-up and perfume.

Most of the male middle management is near the age of 21 and their idea of dressing up is to wear their work clothes with one of those fake black plastic leather “pleather” jackets. When asked why they didn’t dress up the look astonished that you think they are dressed up. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing” They bring a girlfriend that is young most are 18 years old or younger. These “dates” are dressed for the disco, short skirts, low tops and heavy make-up with huge hoop earrings that a buffalo could run through. One young lady wore low cut blue jeans with a top that that was so tight it would fit someone that is 2 or 3 years old.


The two managers that are having an affair show up with their spouses and sit at different tables. During the party they end up staring at each and rarely acknowledging the spouse they came with. I notice the “look of love “ but does any one else notice?

There are a few singles that show up alone and try to fit in with the different groups that exist. They flow from group to group never really fitting in, looking uncomfortable, interrupting a conversation with an anecdote or a joke then moving on.


More to follow: drinking, cursing, sex and the Chrsitmas Bonus.