Dating

It has been brought to my attention that I go on lots of dates. I am not sure that is correct. I lived with my first wife for 5 years before marrying her. The marriage lasted 7 years and then I spent 3 or 4 years out and about. I then met the most wonderful women I had ever met and whom I thought was my soul mate and that relationship lasted about 10 years. Since then I have dated 5 or 6 very different women in the last 2 years and only 1 seemed promising but she was more like my first wife, wanting more than she had and disappointed with her current state.

I met her at the supermarket where she worked and she was probably too young for me. She wanted to be richer; she wanted to be thinner, (she weighed 100 lbs. and constantly referred to herself as FAT), she wanted a better apt. she wanted a better car; she wanted a better job, etc. She also made sure that I knew that she was not happy with my car, my job, my apt, etc as well. When push came to shove I explained that I had already done this in my life and was not interested in the whole better car, better house, spend money like it does not matter to buy a better something that you already own. I hate the thought of going to a restaurant night after night with brand new clothes each time to just “SHOW OFF” I spent lots of money in my first marriage to purchase better items like, cars, TV’s, dishes, clothes, furniture etc to replace the same things with “better quality” items. I could see that this happening over again and wanted no part of it. Don’t get me wrong she was beautiful, funny, and probably too young for me but way too insecure with what she has. Dreams and desire for your future are important but not in this manner.

Another date just could not be on time. I know I am a stickler and probably a little anal about being on time but this lady was just too, too F#$%ing late. Truthfully she was inconsiderate and could not figure out that her inability to look at watch created problems for us. We dated for about 3 months and everything seemed to be going pretty well. Then it started, o our last 3 dates she was not ready for the date 2 hours after she said “Come pick me up at 6:00 pm and I would arrive at 10 minutes to 6 and then I sat around for 2 hours at her place waiting for her to get ready. I don’t like waiting and I mean I don’t like waiting; it brings out the devil in me. She would talk on the telephone to friends while getting ready and she would yell at me from behind the door to have a conversation. Yes, she was apologetic and she definitely showed her appreciation to me later but when I asked if she could either be ready at 6 or have me arrive at 8 either way was fine with me she flipped out and gave me the “You don’t think I am worth the wait.” When I explained that sitting around her apt. for 2 hours each time we went out wasn’t my idea of a good time. I explained that I would be more than happy to show up at anytime but it would be nice if she was ready when she said she would be ready. Well I obviously said the wrong thing, (truthfully she was not worth the wait) and she told me to leave and I did, never to return.


I do remember a few dates from way back. Some were great, some were good and some were horrible. I remember that right before I met the love of my life I dated a gorgeous woman that I took to an LA Raider game 13 or 14 years ago. I had a ½ share of season tickets when the Raiders played at the Coliseum. It was a bright Sunday afternoon when we arrived and we parked completely on the opposite side from our seats when we entered the stadium. After showing our tickets at the entrance we started to go around the walkway to our seats. The very first stand we came to had a wine stand next to the beer stand. She wanted a glass (cup) of wine so I got a beer and she got wine. We proceed to walk half way around the Coliseum to our seats when she decides that she wants another glass of wine. Back I go to the only wine stand at the Coliseum 10 minutes later I return with her 2-nd glass of wine. Near the end of first half she wants 3rd glass. I had no problem with this thinking she will get a little liquored up and we will have a great time after the game.

Long story short she had 6 glasses of wine at the football game and I spent the majority of the game walking to, waiting in line, walking back just to get her all of this wine. She passed out in the truck on the way home and when we got back to her apt she spent the next hour puking up wine. She vomited all over the floor of her kitchen and she puked in her kitchen sink before she could get to the bathroom. That was our last date ever. Thank God.

Before Raider wine girl I dated a girl Vikki. (With an I, no E) that’s how she introduced herself “Hi I am Vikki with an I, no E” who I took to Las Vegas for an enjoyable weekend. My first relationship since my divorce, (relationship is a strong word here a few dates and a trip to Vegas) This trip was wonderful until I uttered the name of my ex-wife instead of her name while in bed at the precise moment a young lady wants to here you moan, breathe, utter, scream her name. Within a half hour we were checked out of the hotel and back on the road to Ventura. There was not one word spoken between us all the way back to Ventura from Vegas.

Some of my dates have included:
Meet the ex (that’s the surprise meeting’s with the ex-husband),
The no babysitter at the last moment, “we have to take the baby if you want to go out.”
The ”we can’t go out because I am still working”, (I ended up hating this chick)
The “Spender” that is the date that orders the most expensive item on the menu and takes 1 or 2 bites TOTAL and then shakes your hand at the door. (She did this twice before I took her someplace “less expensive” and then she mentioned that she didn’t like the food at that restaurant.)
The “I didn’t know I was supposed to call you back after I got your message to call you”
Besides being an airhead this gal ended up getting pregnant right after we dated by her ex-husband. Whew that was a close one!

I really appreciated that one gal named Maria that would not let me take her out unless I also took out her best friend “Denise”. Hey, I am an open and ok guy and I will take out two ladies no problem. Unfortunately she wanted each every date to include her best friend. At first I thought all right two women yeah hooo hoooo. Nope wrong assumption; I was just the wallet for the two of them to get out and enjoy a nice meal while not sitting at home. When she called me to ask if we could go out again I asked her if “we” meant her and I or all three of us? I explained that it was getting expensive taking her and her friend out for dinner and drinks. Her response was, ”If you want to go out with me you know that Denise has to come along too!” In closing, the argument went along the lines of what I wanted versus what she wanted and then she got very upset when I mentioned that after 4 or 5 dates with her and her best friend it was time to stop going out or go out as just a couple and for her to make the decision. She responded with the ever popular, “You’re a dick” and hung up. Being the DICK that I am, later that week I called her best friend Denise and asked her out. We went out just the two of us and I had a great time.

I dated this girl recently that after the first date decided (without asking me) that we were going to live together. It is kind of creepy to open your door at 10:00 pm to find the girl you met on a blind date two nights before is at your door with a big bag of clothes looking for a place to stay for “ just a couple of nights”

Jesus this has to get easier you know but what the hell other than the expense of frequent dinners for dates and their best friends, it really has been fun.