Riding in the desert

I went motorcycle riding in the desert today, no traffic, beautiful terrain, perfect weather but alas a bunch of rattlesnakes, I HATE SNAKES. Everyone has something they fear, something they hate, and something they are phobic about. I HATE SNAKES, no really, I HATE SNAKES.

I drove to Gorman early in the morning and when I arrived I had to visit the restroom. Yes, I saw the posted sign “Be Careful, RATTLESNAKES” but I had to go, 2 cups of coffee and 70 minutes in the truck, I HAD TO GO. I opened the door to the restroom and son of a bitch there is a small rattler in the corner.

I yelled like a little girl and backed up and then I ran, I ran in motorcycle boots as fast as I could and “Carl Lewis” I kicked your ass in the 100 meter dash!

I found the Forest Ranger and told him about the snake and then I proceeded to pee out in the open for everyone to see and I will forever continue to pee in the wilderness at Gorman for everyone to see.

6 hours of riding, a little lunch, and then a motor home shows up and parks right next to me, RIGHT NEXT TO ME. The “DAD” gets out of the motor home and asks me for help. I am cautious, but somehow I say “OK”. The side door opens and 3 little tow heads, 6 or 7 years old jump out of the side door followed by 2 young girls. The DAD says he has twin daughters that are 12 year’s old and male triplets 6 years old.

I swear the 3 little blond boys jump out of the motor home and scream, cheer, yell or announce, “Ricky, Robert, Ryan” It is the the blond Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the desert with me. Whoa, Ricky, Robert, and Ryan Deja Vue, suddenly the twin daughters say that they are Mary and Melissa, (Whew that was close).


I help the Dad pull 3 small Honda’s out of the motor home and when the Mom asks if I want lunch, I beg off explaining that I have already eaten lunch. Ricky, Robert and Ryan proceed to launch them selves out to the desert with no regard to their safety. Within 25 seconds one of the three boy’s crashes hard and I mean hard. I take a few steps in the direction of the downed youngster when he jumps up in the air and yells, “I am OK.” One of his brothers then proceeds to run his injured brother over with his motorcycle. I gasped his Mom and Dad scream and then one of the twin daughters says, “God, Ryan is such a spaz. Watch Mom and Dad pay attention to him now.”

I know I should have helped out but that was it. I packed up and left within 15 minutes of the youngster’s crash.

Everyone should have fun and motorcycling in the desert is great but who knows what happened after I left?