I am laying my heart out here and you know it. I know you are happy where you are and you know I am miserable. I wish I was there and yet all I know is that, what your happy?, your miserable? You never really tell me. It seems your holding something back while I just long to be near someone, I need to be wanted.

I can't believe I ever chose work over you. In the all time worst trades in history in the history of trades I fucked up. I look back at a decade of bad decision's and stupid ego and regret, (yeah regret a fucking big word for me), a lot.

How is possible something that was soright has gone so bad so fast.

My hurt is real and deep and I would give it all away for a real minute with you, just to look in your eyes and to hold you again. I know it will never happen but thought keeps me alive most nights.

I am looking for support for someone to pump me up to lift my spirits all the things you used to do.