Tuesday, September 28, 2004

We had an earthquake this morning. A 6.0 on the scale. My office shook a little and dust came down from the ceiling no damage just dust. The earthquake was centered up in San Luis Obispo, about 2 hours north of here. It always seems that going through an earthquake is exciting and you suddenly realize that this could be the big one and that's when you get real nervous.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

My brother turns 42 today. There was a time in my life I never thought he would live this long. His 20's were a period of excess. Alcohol and drugs led him astray and down a path that I truly thought he would never return.

He is clean, sober and most importantly he is my brother and I love him.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

A day in the life! Posted by Hello

Monday, September 20, 2004

I just can’t seem to get into the football season this year. I am, (was?) the biggest NFL fan ever. I set up my Saturdays so that I would not be bothered on Football Sundays. No shopping, no chores, no headaches, just Football. I would work my ass off on Saturdays just to sit and watch. Beer Food, snacks it was a weeklong process to plan my meals for Sunday. I would destroy my weekend to watch football and suffer through Monday.

Everything changes and so has my life. Most of what I thought was important clearly isn’t. Most of the people I know look at me with pity or with a sense of sorrow. I can tell their feelings and it does not bother me. Years ago it would have been a serious problem for me to accept other peoples negative perception of me. Now I don’t pay attention to others like I used to. Maybe I should but I don’t need their pity or sorrow, I just need me if I don’t fix it, feel it, need it, deal with it no one will. I would rather go outside and go for a run with the headphones on than watch TV. The library is more important than the liquor store. I keep throwing things away that I bought a long time ago and have never used. Clutter, trash, possessions, things are, (have been) a waste. Getting back to a basic few items and an extremely less complicated life is my goal.

I have no demands on my time, except for my job, and I need to find more things to do. I tried helping at the library reading to kids, but it took to long to try to explain what the words mean than what the author meant or what the story is about. Donating my time seems to come with lots of strings and questions about my full time job that I don’t want to deal with. Why is it so hard to help out?

It seems that to I still have a long way to go and certain selfishness seems to show up every now and then. When I give some of myself out to others it seems that I get hurt. Whether it is in personal relationships or when I donate my time it seems to come back and create more trouble than it is worth. I know that I can’t or won’t grow as person unless I give some of myself up to others. I know the “YOU CAN’T GET LOVE UNTIL YOU GIVE LOVE” Well giving love, time, self, help, “GIVING” is what it is going to take to get some back.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I bought a new car yesterday. I have had my pick-up for 7 years and 116, 000 miles and it was time to retire the green Hornet pick-up truck. It served me well and I used it and abused it The old truck needed a new transmission ($1800.00) and a new radiator ($700.00), well I knew it was time for a trade-in.

I don't subscribe to the adage , "You are what you drive." I know it's California but what's the point of paying $30, 000.00 for a big truck or a SUV. I have no kids, no wife, it's just me and I drive 4 miles to work and 4 miles home each day.

When I arrived at the dealership, I test drove a big Chevy 2500 HD pick-up a massive beast and a great truck. During the test drive I got a phone call from a friend once again asking me if I could drive over with my (old) truck and haul some stuff for them. They didn't know that I was test driving a new truck but somehow I knew that I needed to buy a small car. I turned around headed for the dealership, parked the truck got out and walked over to the littlest car i could find.

I purchased a brand new 4 cylinder Chevy Cavalier. It gets 35 miles to the gallonand doesn't need a transmission.