All the credit to Jim Leland and the Detroit Tigers. If you like pitching the A's vs. the Tigers starting on Tuesday is worth watching. My God, a single win against the Royals in the last series of the year and Detroit has home field advantage against the A's.
Hey, Giambi, A-Rod, Jeter and the rest of the "Greatest Yankee team ever" What happened? Looking past the Tigers at Oakland cost you, cost you big time.
Come on Dodgers, I have tickets to Sundays game vs the Mets and a win on Saturday night would be good.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Uh Oh it is October
Whoo Hoo LA Dodgers are in the playoffs and going to New York to face the beat up Mets.
Tiger fans what has happened to your team? Swept by the Royals this weekend.The once mighty Tigers gave up 49 runs in 3 games this weekend and now must travel to New York to face the Yankees. Win one game against the Royals and you get to start the playoffs at home against Oakland. El sweepo and now you are on the road with a tough series ahead against the best team in baseball.
Good Luck
Tiger fans what has happened to your team? Swept by the Royals this weekend.The once mighty Tigers gave up 49 runs in 3 games this weekend and now must travel to New York to face the Yankees. Win one game against the Royals and you get to start the playoffs at home against Oakland. El sweepo and now you are on the road with a tough series ahead against the best team in baseball.
Good Luck
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
It is about the game and only the game.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
It is about the game and only the game.
I have lived in or around LA most of my life and consider my self a sports fan, not really a LA sports fan, but a sports fan. College football seems to be a passion right now and it used to be the NFL but ESPN, FOX, CBS and NBC have hyped the games so much that it is hard to see the game thru the lengthy commercials and the promos for their own shows, WHILE THE GAME IS BEING PLAYED. All of the pre-game shows are brutal to watch, to follow and seemed to be geared to the fair weathered fan. Very little game information is shown or presented just lots of hype about a players struggle when they were growing up, or the sibling that is sick, ill or dead, or the “foundation” they set up to help the disadvantaged. We get the pre-requisite comedic interview with a player, coach or team executive that is continually teased but fails to deliver any valuable information. We also get comments from the studio hosts about what it was like when they played and one of the ex-players always, ALWAYS, supports one of their buddies in trouble or in the doghouse for a bad performance, “He’s just misunderstood”.
ESPN is the worst with the NFL on Monday Night Football. Now that they have the game the hype, commercials, promos, crossovers, and Chris Berman and Stewart Scott are too much to handle. They, (ESPN) believe it is all about ESPN and we all watch just to see ESPN and to listen to Berman ramble on and on and make sound effects while showing highlights. The nicknames have always been lame and Stewart Scott, Do you really have a degree in journalism or has someone convinced you that what your doing is actually reporting? Why do you feel the need to introduce to the world new words for the English language?
I used to tape the show on ESPN that Ron Jaworski had on Monday afternoons before the game was on ABC and it was the best show about football ever. He would explain defenses and show on film the difference between “cover 2”, “nickel” and “dime” packages. Tendencies, trends and actual game film were presented, no player profiles. The show generated from the NFL Film studios in NJ and presented FOOTBALL and nothing else. I believe it was called Monday Night Match-up; it seems to have disappeared from ESPN’s MNF schedule only to be replaced by Chris Berman’s idiotic variety show.
ESPN has somehow convinced it self that the majority of its viewers had no life before MNF on ESPN and if we don’t watch all of their shows we are just missing out on the greatest event on TV. It still is called Monday Night FOOTBALL, not The Monday Night Television Special. I believe that they will eventually fail or at least change the substance of their programming because they broke the rule that dooms sports broadcasting; it is about the game and only the game. I now move on to what happened last night in LA.
I used to go to 5-10 Dodger games a year but it got to be expensive and a really long night. 1–2 hours down to the stadium, game time plus a 1-hour drive home. Last night while I was cleaning up around the house and I had the Dodger vs. Padres game on Fox Prime, (pick a name guys and stick with it will you) in the
den and I convinced myself to go to bed when the game ended. I was wrapping up my house cleaning when it was bottom of the ninth, the Dodgers down to the Padres 9-5. Game over I thought, but then I saw the greatest end to a baseball game ever, EVER.
Four home runs in a row from the Dodgers to come from behind to tie the game and then Nomar hits the walk off in the 11th to beat the Padres and the Dodgers regain the lead in the west. First Jeff Kent, then JD Drew and that’s when it got a little interesting. Future Hall of Fame reliever for the Padres Trevor Hoffman comes in and on his first pitch Russell Martin goes deep, WHOOO HOOO. Dodgers are down by one and then Marlon Anderson drives in the game tying shot. I scream aloud and realize it late but four home runs in a row wow, I’ve never seen that before and to tie up the game in the bottom of the ninth time to stop cleaning and pay attention.
The Padres score 1 in the top of the tenth and with Kenny Lofton at first base with a walk; Nomar hits the game winner and gives a little arm pump, and the Dodgers are back in first place.
Welcome back Peter Gammons it’s good to know you are OK.
It was time to go bed with a little smile on my face.
It is about the game and only the game.
I have lived in or around LA most of my life and consider my self a sports fan, not really a LA sports fan, but a sports fan. College football seems to be a passion right now and it used to be the NFL but ESPN, FOX, CBS and NBC have hyped the games so much that it is hard to see the game thru the lengthy commercials and the promos for their own shows, WHILE THE GAME IS BEING PLAYED. All of the pre-game shows are brutal to watch, to follow and seemed to be geared to the fair weathered fan. Very little game information is shown or presented just lots of hype about a players struggle when they were growing up, or the sibling that is sick, ill or dead, or the “foundation” they set up to help the disadvantaged. We get the pre-requisite comedic interview with a player, coach or team executive that is continually teased but fails to deliver any valuable information. We also get comments from the studio hosts about what it was like when they played and one of the ex-players always, ALWAYS, supports one of their buddies in trouble or in the doghouse for a bad performance, “He’s just misunderstood”.
ESPN is the worst with the NFL on Monday Night Football. Now that they have the game the hype, commercials, promos, crossovers, and Chris Berman and Stewart Scott are too much to handle. They, (ESPN) believe it is all about ESPN and we all watch just to see ESPN and to listen to Berman ramble on and on and make sound effects while showing highlights. The nicknames have always been lame and Stewart Scott, Do you really have a degree in journalism or has someone convinced you that what your doing is actually reporting? Why do you feel the need to introduce to the world new words for the English language?
I used to tape the show on ESPN that Ron Jaworski had on Monday afternoons before the game was on ABC and it was the best show about football ever. He would explain defenses and show on film the difference between “cover 2”, “nickel” and “dime” packages. Tendencies, trends and actual game film were presented, no player profiles. The show generated from the NFL Film studios in NJ and presented FOOTBALL and nothing else. I believe it was called Monday Night Match-up; it seems to have disappeared from ESPN’s MNF schedule only to be replaced by Chris Berman’s idiotic variety show.
ESPN has somehow convinced it self that the majority of its viewers had no life before MNF on ESPN and if we don’t watch all of their shows we are just missing out on the greatest event on TV. It still is called Monday Night FOOTBALL, not The Monday Night Television Special. I believe that they will eventually fail or at least change the substance of their programming because they broke the rule that dooms sports broadcasting; it is about the game and only the game. I now move on to what happened last night in LA.
I used to go to 5-10 Dodger games a year but it got to be expensive and a really long night. 1–2 hours down to the stadium, game time plus a 1-hour drive home. Last night while I was cleaning up around the house and I had the Dodger vs. Padres game on Fox Prime, (pick a name guys and stick with it will you) in the
den and I convinced myself to go to bed when the game ended. I was wrapping up my house cleaning when it was bottom of the ninth, the Dodgers down to the Padres 9-5. Game over I thought, but then I saw the greatest end to a baseball game ever, EVER.
Four home runs in a row from the Dodgers to come from behind to tie the game and then Nomar hits the walk off in the 11th to beat the Padres and the Dodgers regain the lead in the west. First Jeff Kent, then JD Drew and that’s when it got a little interesting. Future Hall of Fame reliever for the Padres Trevor Hoffman comes in and on his first pitch Russell Martin goes deep, WHOOO HOOO. Dodgers are down by one and then Marlon Anderson drives in the game tying shot. I scream aloud and realize it late but four home runs in a row wow, I’ve never seen that before and to tie up the game in the bottom of the ninth time to stop cleaning and pay attention.
The Padres score 1 in the top of the tenth and with Kenny Lofton at first base with a walk; Nomar hits the game winner and gives a little arm pump, and the Dodgers are back in first place.
Welcome back Peter Gammons it’s good to know you are OK.
It was time to go bed with a little smile on my face.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Remember it isn’t the destination it’s the journey.
September 19th, 2006
It is 78 degrees today and a beautiful day except for all of the smoke and ash from the “Day” fire. It looks like it will be a tough night for sleep; all of the windows will be closed which means the house will heat up. Going riding Wednesday up in Santa Ynez at a new Motocross Track for my brothers birthday, place looks great and it should be fun. Check it out at www.zacastationmx.com
I am amazed at the response to my RANT about my missing music CD’s. Most were sympathetic, some pointed out that it was my own damn fault for not “backing up” etc. Two comments were made by ladies that felt I got what I deserved? Hmmm friends of the ex-girlfriend maybe? I was very pleasantly surprised to be picked as the “RANT” of the day from blogoftheday.org.
But the winner was from the ex-girlfriend; yep she read the blog, “Just to hear the latest and greatest” She made a few choice comments but that still doesn’t solve the case of the “missing” CD’S” Sounds like one of those “Two Minute Mystery” books I read in elementary school.
My CD’S are still:
· Stolen
· Missing
· Lost
· Thrown Away
· Borrowed
· Destroyed
· Donated, (Yep my favorite response.)
· Sold
Pick one, pick anyone they are still GONE!!!
I started the process of replacing my “LOST” (Does that make YOU feel better?) music this weekend. I purchased3 CD’s for $57.00. I am guessing that I will be spending a lot of time at the music stores in the county hunting for freaking sales, deals and bargains. I am not a ebay guy and it is not worth the hassle of buying a used CD for $3.00 only to find out that the disc is a copy or missing. Brick and Mortar still have a place in business/retail. I am sure that replacing the “missing” will take 6-months to year with my time and my budget.
Remember it isn’t the destination it’s the journey.
It is 78 degrees today and a beautiful day except for all of the smoke and ash from the “Day” fire. It looks like it will be a tough night for sleep; all of the windows will be closed which means the house will heat up. Going riding Wednesday up in Santa Ynez at a new Motocross Track for my brothers birthday, place looks great and it should be fun. Check it out at www.zacastationmx.com
I am amazed at the response to my RANT about my missing music CD’s. Most were sympathetic, some pointed out that it was my own damn fault for not “backing up” etc. Two comments were made by ladies that felt I got what I deserved? Hmmm friends of the ex-girlfriend maybe? I was very pleasantly surprised to be picked as the “RANT” of the day from blogoftheday.org.
But the winner was from the ex-girlfriend; yep she read the blog, “Just to hear the latest and greatest” She made a few choice comments but that still doesn’t solve the case of the “missing” CD’S” Sounds like one of those “Two Minute Mystery” books I read in elementary school.
My CD’S are still:
· Stolen
· Missing
· Lost
· Thrown Away
· Borrowed
· Destroyed
· Donated, (Yep my favorite response.)
· Sold
Pick one, pick anyone they are still GONE!!!
I started the process of replacing my “LOST” (Does that make YOU feel better?) music this weekend. I purchased3 CD’s for $57.00. I am guessing that I will be spending a lot of time at the music stores in the county hunting for freaking sales, deals and bargains. I am not a ebay guy and it is not worth the hassle of buying a used CD for $3.00 only to find out that the disc is a copy or missing. Brick and Mortar still have a place in business/retail. I am sure that replacing the “missing” will take 6-months to year with my time and my budget.
Remember it isn’t the destination it’s the journey.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
WTF where did they go?
Yes this is a rant, a rage, a mother f@*&^%$ pissed off complaint.
OK, I am the guy that buys a music CD for just one song. I know downloading is simple and easy, but I can’t do it. If I wrote a song, played on a track, wrote a book, story, etc and someone distributed it to the world and I didn’t get my compensation I would be enraged. Why is it not ok to steal someone’s car, their jewelry or their money but its ok to take their blood, sweat and effort and their work? Well it isn’t cool to steal anything, period.
I like apples itunes because I have to pay and it is my song, (for better or worse). Their software leaves a little to be desired and that’s where this all begins. I have downloaded only a handful of songs because if you lose your library, those purchased songs are pretty much gone forever.
I lost my itunes library; normally no big deal but I am the guy with 1200 CD’s, (well I used to be), I thought backing it up would save me, nope. I will have to fix this for the future but I did manage to save a text of all of songs and I have. My library is 99% music from the original CD’s I bought. I still have the first CD I bought in the 80’s, (Hall & Oates for some strange reason)
I purchase a new hard drive and an external drive for backing up. Everything is ready and I begin to pull the CD’s off the shelves and stack them up so I can reload the tracks I want save. To my horror nearly 100 CD’s are gone, missing, disappeared. My .txt file was dated in early 2001, so I have a clue about what happened to most of them.
I don’t loan CD’s, I don’t lose them, and I protect them, I catalog and keep them on shelves sorted by artist. Yeah I know a little weird but if I spend my hard earned cash on something I try to make it last. So as I go thru my list from 5 years ago I start to realize that some discs are not in the jewel case and some are missing completely.
I lived with my ex-girlfriend and her kids for a few years and my music was their music. Everything was available to everyone, just a library for everyone to use. Her kids didn’t listen to my music but it was all out there for ANYONE to look at, use, or take. The CD’S were kept on shelves in the den where her friends and family slept when they stayed overnight. I can’t prove a thing but the music was there when I moved in and it isn’t now. Her friends, family and who knows who was in the den to sleep over or visit, so its possible that 10-15 people could be to blame. Yes BLAME!!
I know she took the Beatles White Album, Eric Clapton’s 24 Nights and few others that she admitted to and it didn’t sit well with me and when I asked for them back, I received nothing. She now lives across the country so I can’t drive over and pick them up and I don’t owe her money, I didn’t cheat, she didn’t cheat, and we just broke up and moved on. I didn’t take any of her possessions and up until this weekend I thought it was a couple of CD’s, Jesus Mother F*&^ Christ was I wrong.
100 goddamn CD’s gone, like I said I have no proof but the signs point to an inside job. Yeah I am pissed but I can’t do a damn thing about it but vent, rant and rage. I know it was a few years ago but the CD’S have been sealed in locked trunks in a locked storage container and I have the only key and combination, NO ONE ELSE and no tampering excuses, all of the seals were still in place.
Some CD’s are just gone, some are missing the liner notes, some are missing just the CD’s:
Big Head Todd & the Monsters, (Strategem) gone
Eric Clapton, (24 Nights) gone
Eric Clapton, (Unplugged) gone
Beatles, (Anthology) gone
Beatles, (White Album) gone
Jimmy Buffet, (Greatest Hits) gone
Jackson Browne, (Greatest Hits) gone
Swingin’ Singles, (Cocktail Mix) gone
Schoolhouse rock, (Grammer Rock) gone
Led Zeppelin, (Houses of the Holy) gone
OK too many to list so I will just list a few artists:
Styx, Rolling Stones, Stray Cats, Dire Straits, ELO, U2, Oingo Boingo, Joe Walsh, No Doubt, Pearl Jam, (Pearl Jam, really hurts) Tom Petty, Johnny Mathis, Carol King, Green Day, The Clash, Brian Setzer, The Talking Heads, Bach, Mozart, Count Basie, Benny Goodwin, Harry Connick Jr., REM, Pink Floyd; just to name a few of the “MISSING”
THEYARE GONE, FUCKING GONE !!
I now have a printed list of the “MISSING MUSIC” pasted in my Moleskin so I can replace the “STOLEN” music with new purchases.
I really need to get over this and just replace what was taken from me and move on but somehow I know it was more than, “Oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was in my CD case.”
I know that it is just music after all and it is replaceable, yet today I am so bent out of shape about all of this. No proof, just suspects and an expensive lesson in relationships.
OK, I am the guy that buys a music CD for just one song. I know downloading is simple and easy, but I can’t do it. If I wrote a song, played on a track, wrote a book, story, etc and someone distributed it to the world and I didn’t get my compensation I would be enraged. Why is it not ok to steal someone’s car, their jewelry or their money but its ok to take their blood, sweat and effort and their work? Well it isn’t cool to steal anything, period.
I like apples itunes because I have to pay and it is my song, (for better or worse). Their software leaves a little to be desired and that’s where this all begins. I have downloaded only a handful of songs because if you lose your library, those purchased songs are pretty much gone forever.
I lost my itunes library; normally no big deal but I am the guy with 1200 CD’s, (well I used to be), I thought backing it up would save me, nope. I will have to fix this for the future but I did manage to save a text of all of songs and I have. My library is 99% music from the original CD’s I bought. I still have the first CD I bought in the 80’s, (Hall & Oates for some strange reason)
I purchase a new hard drive and an external drive for backing up. Everything is ready and I begin to pull the CD’s off the shelves and stack them up so I can reload the tracks I want save. To my horror nearly 100 CD’s are gone, missing, disappeared. My .txt file was dated in early 2001, so I have a clue about what happened to most of them.
I don’t loan CD’s, I don’t lose them, and I protect them, I catalog and keep them on shelves sorted by artist. Yeah I know a little weird but if I spend my hard earned cash on something I try to make it last. So as I go thru my list from 5 years ago I start to realize that some discs are not in the jewel case and some are missing completely.
I lived with my ex-girlfriend and her kids for a few years and my music was their music. Everything was available to everyone, just a library for everyone to use. Her kids didn’t listen to my music but it was all out there for ANYONE to look at, use, or take. The CD’S were kept on shelves in the den where her friends and family slept when they stayed overnight. I can’t prove a thing but the music was there when I moved in and it isn’t now. Her friends, family and who knows who was in the den to sleep over or visit, so its possible that 10-15 people could be to blame. Yes BLAME!!
I know she took the Beatles White Album, Eric Clapton’s 24 Nights and few others that she admitted to and it didn’t sit well with me and when I asked for them back, I received nothing. She now lives across the country so I can’t drive over and pick them up and I don’t owe her money, I didn’t cheat, she didn’t cheat, and we just broke up and moved on. I didn’t take any of her possessions and up until this weekend I thought it was a couple of CD’s, Jesus Mother F*&^ Christ was I wrong.
100 goddamn CD’s gone, like I said I have no proof but the signs point to an inside job. Yeah I am pissed but I can’t do a damn thing about it but vent, rant and rage. I know it was a few years ago but the CD’S have been sealed in locked trunks in a locked storage container and I have the only key and combination, NO ONE ELSE and no tampering excuses, all of the seals were still in place.
Some CD’s are just gone, some are missing the liner notes, some are missing just the CD’s:
Big Head Todd & the Monsters, (Strategem) gone
Eric Clapton, (24 Nights) gone
Eric Clapton, (Unplugged) gone
Beatles, (Anthology) gone
Beatles, (White Album) gone
Jimmy Buffet, (Greatest Hits) gone
Jackson Browne, (Greatest Hits) gone
Swingin’ Singles, (Cocktail Mix) gone
Schoolhouse rock, (Grammer Rock) gone
Led Zeppelin, (Houses of the Holy) gone
OK too many to list so I will just list a few artists:
Styx, Rolling Stones, Stray Cats, Dire Straits, ELO, U2, Oingo Boingo, Joe Walsh, No Doubt, Pearl Jam, (Pearl Jam, really hurts) Tom Petty, Johnny Mathis, Carol King, Green Day, The Clash, Brian Setzer, The Talking Heads, Bach, Mozart, Count Basie, Benny Goodwin, Harry Connick Jr., REM, Pink Floyd; just to name a few of the “MISSING”
THEYARE GONE, FUCKING GONE !!
I now have a printed list of the “MISSING MUSIC” pasted in my Moleskin so I can replace the “STOLEN” music with new purchases.
I really need to get over this and just replace what was taken from me and move on but somehow I know it was more than, “Oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was in my CD case.”
I know that it is just music after all and it is replaceable, yet today I am so bent out of shape about all of this. No proof, just suspects and an expensive lesson in relationships.
Monday, May 22, 2006
What do you know
What do you know?
You think you know everything and then WHAM you get fucked again. I got a call from the owner of my company at 9:01 am, “Two things for you to do! Call the managers and tell them there is a meeting today at 2:00 pm and you need to be here at 9:30 this morning.” I asked, “Do I need anything? No He replied, be here at 9:30 am.”
I arrived at 9:25 am and walked in to his office and was told I was laid off effective June 30th, 2006. The company was being sold and I was out. I was stunned but not surprised with the news.
Once again in my life someone fucks up and does not do their job and I lose my job. The last time was a union position almost 20 years ago with Northrop Aviation.
This time the owner pissed around, fooled around and failed to make decisions,
(He did not make the wrong decisions, JUST NO FREAKING DECISIONS) and now because of “CASH FLOW PROBLEMS) I lose my job.
Smarter people saw the handwriting on the wall years ago and left, but not me. I am blind as a bat, loyal to the end and I get nothing but 6 weeks notice and a handshake.
You think you know everything and then WHAM you get fucked again. I got a call from the owner of my company at 9:01 am, “Two things for you to do! Call the managers and tell them there is a meeting today at 2:00 pm and you need to be here at 9:30 this morning.” I asked, “Do I need anything? No He replied, be here at 9:30 am.”
I arrived at 9:25 am and walked in to his office and was told I was laid off effective June 30th, 2006. The company was being sold and I was out. I was stunned but not surprised with the news.
Once again in my life someone fucks up and does not do their job and I lose my job. The last time was a union position almost 20 years ago with Northrop Aviation.
This time the owner pissed around, fooled around and failed to make decisions,
(He did not make the wrong decisions, JUST NO FREAKING DECISIONS) and now because of “CASH FLOW PROBLEMS) I lose my job.
Smarter people saw the handwriting on the wall years ago and left, but not me. I am blind as a bat, loyal to the end and I get nothing but 6 weeks notice and a handshake.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
LIFE
LIFE
I am amazed at the twists and turns that the journey of life takes us.If 25 years ago you showed me were I am now, I would never have believed it.20 years ago, (1986) I was married, successful and happy. My wife was a stunningly gorgeous woman that took my breath away. She was intellectually bright, book smart and had a photographic memory that was eerie. We could discuss politics, the economy and trivial moments in history. She worked out every day and she was the object of desire for many yet she chose me to share her life with me and we married. She had class and always dressed up to go out even to the supermarket. Her hair was never out of place, never out of style, never out of control and always perfect. I felt that I married a goddess, a women that all men desired.
Yet she always needed something more. She wasn’t happy or satisfied with us, with me, with herself; first it was a new car, then new furniture, new stuff, a new house, and then suddenly the need for a new “HER”. She desired a new body, (nose, cheeks, chin and breasts) and all I really wanted was the American dream; a big house; a great job; a wife and a family.
The house part was easy, and we both perused the great jobs but the family thing became an issue; a big issue. It seemed to me that she didn’t to want to get pregnant, (it would make her “fat and ugly”). She talked about waiting, until we were older, wiser and “better off”. Money seemed to be something she worried about and something I brought home.
Finally she became pregnant and after a few months she miscarried. It was just before Christmas. The aftermath of that terrible incident showed me the hatred two people could have for each other. We could not agree on anything and rarely spoke a few words to each other in a day.
I blamed her, “You never really wanted the baby. You lost the baby on purpose.” She blamed me, “I just did it for you, and I never wanted baby anyways.”
My god we would have been terrible parents to that child.
It was my fault; it was her fault, then the lawyers, the house, the money, my family, her family, then divorce, etc. Everything ended and the result was a broken marriage and damaged heart for me. I became bitter, angry and a terrible person to be around. Hell, I didn’t like me.
I then drifted in life; I had different jobs, different addresses, and mostly different desires. The winds of despair took me from heaven to hell, here and there and being miserable became an ok place for me. There were spiritual and physical highs but there were many lows that only a few have known. A completely altered person came out of that brutal period of my life. Women drifted in and out, friends came and went and life just happened.
Finally, God took pity on me and rescued me with one of his angels and I could not have imagined that today she is just a memory.
I was so madly in LOVE with a completely different woman than my first wife. She was so alive, she was bright, and she was younger than me yet wiser than her years. She liked to read and kept up with current events, she watched the news most nights and read the newspaper daily. She loved baseball and new what RBI, ERA and meant and could tell if a pitcher balked and knew what the Infield Fly Rule was. She drank beer and ate peanuts and enjoyed a Dodger Dog at the game. She could curl up on the couch with a blanket and drift off to sleep and the angelic look on her face should be on a painting in the Louvre. She was a mother of two young boys when we met and she lived for her boys, and my god I truly learned what a parent really was and discovered that I fell short in the “DAD” department. She was proud of her children and always wanted the best for them even if she suffered for their needs.
Her beauty was real and natural and she awoke from sleep each morning with an allure that is with me to this day. She made me want to be a better man; I wanted to be with her day and night and I wanted to stare into her eyes and to tell her that I loved her. When I was with her I felt better, hell not better I felt great and isn’t that what we all want; someone to make us feel better. I would dream of us growing old together and walking hand in hand with a love for each other that would never end. I reveled in her beauty, I mean some described her as cute but I always thought she was stunning. She had a personal style that few women could match and she always knew what was the appropriate attire, costume, hair, make-up, shoes, and accessories for the moment.
She was a flirt and everyone loved her and everyone wanted to be with her. I confessed to her many a time that it must be tough to wanted all the time.
She was a whirlwind of activity, work, kids friends activities, etc.
When asked by a cousin of mine at a family reunion once, “What does she do for you?” I replied with the convincing remark, “SHE MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON.” I felt “over chicked” and delighted in my fortune and the miracle of God that I actually was apart of. When she touched me I felt as if all of my anger, pain, frustration and poison left my body and disappeared. She was the angel that was sent here for me and I felt blessed. I was lucky and new it.
I was in LOVE and things were good, real good, we almost blended into one, and I almost felt that I was a part of her and that she almost became a part of me.
Feeling that God owed me, I took my gift for granted and became lazy in the relationship. I held back a small part of me and I never truly committed all of my self to her. I somehow feared a repeat of my first marriage and I continued to hold back a part of myself, until it was too late.
My decision to withhold that little bit of myself, caught up with me and when she decided to leave me I once again crashed into hell. When she was ready to marry, I couldn’t commit. When I was ready to commit, she was ready to move on in life. Oh my god, the tragedy of timing.
Hell isn’t what you read about in the bible, and it isn’t something you see in a Hollywood movie, it isn’t a real place at all; it exists only in your mind, in your head, night after night. Dreading sleep each night is a terrible way to go through life, I know because I feared the nightmares, the terrible ways you make your self suffer in a nightmare each and every night for a thousand nights takes away a bit of you. Waking up tired each and every morning from the long journeys I took each night took it’s toll on my body and my spirit and I tried to find ways to cheat the
For a while I went to bed early thinking I would cheat the demons in my head, in my soul and maybe get to sleep before the self-destruction occurred in my dreams. It never really worked; the spirits in my soul found my head each and every night to torment my loneliness. I then convinced my self that the demons found me each night because I went to bed early. I decided that I would not go to bed until real late, like 2 or 3 in the morning late. I believed that the evil spirits would never find me and I would be awake at 5:30 am before the nightly destruction of my soul began. What a great idea I had, what a disaster it turned out to be. I almost destroyed my body to stay up late each night and also I performed terribly at work and once again I became the angry man I was before.
Carrying around the bitterness in your life is tedious, time consuming and it kills your future most of all. The anger that you carry always makes you look behind to remind yourself why you are angry and as such never forward. I never wanted to see the possibilities of my life; I only wanted to remind myself and everyone else of my failed and destructive past.
It is very peculiar to realize that you are not alone in life but that you are so very lonely. I had people around me that cared and I met a few women that seemed interesting but I didn’t care about myself so relationships never really materialized or developed.
I once again blamed GOD and held him in contempt for my loneliness and my anger. It couldn’t be might fault, it must be Gods desire or maybe it was his lack of attention that made me suffer once again.
I am amazed at the twists and turns that the journey of life takes us.If 25 years ago you showed me were I am now, I would never have believed it.20 years ago, (1986) I was married, successful and happy. My wife was a stunningly gorgeous woman that took my breath away. She was intellectually bright, book smart and had a photographic memory that was eerie. We could discuss politics, the economy and trivial moments in history. She worked out every day and she was the object of desire for many yet she chose me to share her life with me and we married. She had class and always dressed up to go out even to the supermarket. Her hair was never out of place, never out of style, never out of control and always perfect. I felt that I married a goddess, a women that all men desired.
Yet she always needed something more. She wasn’t happy or satisfied with us, with me, with herself; first it was a new car, then new furniture, new stuff, a new house, and then suddenly the need for a new “HER”. She desired a new body, (nose, cheeks, chin and breasts) and all I really wanted was the American dream; a big house; a great job; a wife and a family.
The house part was easy, and we both perused the great jobs but the family thing became an issue; a big issue. It seemed to me that she didn’t to want to get pregnant, (it would make her “fat and ugly”). She talked about waiting, until we were older, wiser and “better off”. Money seemed to be something she worried about and something I brought home.
Finally she became pregnant and after a few months she miscarried. It was just before Christmas. The aftermath of that terrible incident showed me the hatred two people could have for each other. We could not agree on anything and rarely spoke a few words to each other in a day.
I blamed her, “You never really wanted the baby. You lost the baby on purpose.” She blamed me, “I just did it for you, and I never wanted baby anyways.”
My god we would have been terrible parents to that child.
It was my fault; it was her fault, then the lawyers, the house, the money, my family, her family, then divorce, etc. Everything ended and the result was a broken marriage and damaged heart for me. I became bitter, angry and a terrible person to be around. Hell, I didn’t like me.
I then drifted in life; I had different jobs, different addresses, and mostly different desires. The winds of despair took me from heaven to hell, here and there and being miserable became an ok place for me. There were spiritual and physical highs but there were many lows that only a few have known. A completely altered person came out of that brutal period of my life. Women drifted in and out, friends came and went and life just happened.
Finally, God took pity on me and rescued me with one of his angels and I could not have imagined that today she is just a memory.
I was so madly in LOVE with a completely different woman than my first wife. She was so alive, she was bright, and she was younger than me yet wiser than her years. She liked to read and kept up with current events, she watched the news most nights and read the newspaper daily. She loved baseball and new what RBI, ERA and meant and could tell if a pitcher balked and knew what the Infield Fly Rule was. She drank beer and ate peanuts and enjoyed a Dodger Dog at the game. She could curl up on the couch with a blanket and drift off to sleep and the angelic look on her face should be on a painting in the Louvre. She was a mother of two young boys when we met and she lived for her boys, and my god I truly learned what a parent really was and discovered that I fell short in the “DAD” department. She was proud of her children and always wanted the best for them even if she suffered for their needs.
Her beauty was real and natural and she awoke from sleep each morning with an allure that is with me to this day. She made me want to be a better man; I wanted to be with her day and night and I wanted to stare into her eyes and to tell her that I loved her. When I was with her I felt better, hell not better I felt great and isn’t that what we all want; someone to make us feel better. I would dream of us growing old together and walking hand in hand with a love for each other that would never end. I reveled in her beauty, I mean some described her as cute but I always thought she was stunning. She had a personal style that few women could match and she always knew what was the appropriate attire, costume, hair, make-up, shoes, and accessories for the moment.
She was a flirt and everyone loved her and everyone wanted to be with her. I confessed to her many a time that it must be tough to wanted all the time.
She was a whirlwind of activity, work, kids friends activities, etc.
When asked by a cousin of mine at a family reunion once, “What does she do for you?” I replied with the convincing remark, “SHE MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON.” I felt “over chicked” and delighted in my fortune and the miracle of God that I actually was apart of. When she touched me I felt as if all of my anger, pain, frustration and poison left my body and disappeared. She was the angel that was sent here for me and I felt blessed. I was lucky and new it.
I was in LOVE and things were good, real good, we almost blended into one, and I almost felt that I was a part of her and that she almost became a part of me.
Feeling that God owed me, I took my gift for granted and became lazy in the relationship. I held back a small part of me and I never truly committed all of my self to her. I somehow feared a repeat of my first marriage and I continued to hold back a part of myself, until it was too late.
My decision to withhold that little bit of myself, caught up with me and when she decided to leave me I once again crashed into hell. When she was ready to marry, I couldn’t commit. When I was ready to commit, she was ready to move on in life. Oh my god, the tragedy of timing.
Hell isn’t what you read about in the bible, and it isn’t something you see in a Hollywood movie, it isn’t a real place at all; it exists only in your mind, in your head, night after night. Dreading sleep each night is a terrible way to go through life, I know because I feared the nightmares, the terrible ways you make your self suffer in a nightmare each and every night for a thousand nights takes away a bit of you. Waking up tired each and every morning from the long journeys I took each night took it’s toll on my body and my spirit and I tried to find ways to cheat the
For a while I went to bed early thinking I would cheat the demons in my head, in my soul and maybe get to sleep before the self-destruction occurred in my dreams. It never really worked; the spirits in my soul found my head each and every night to torment my loneliness. I then convinced my self that the demons found me each night because I went to bed early. I decided that I would not go to bed until real late, like 2 or 3 in the morning late. I believed that the evil spirits would never find me and I would be awake at 5:30 am before the nightly destruction of my soul began. What a great idea I had, what a disaster it turned out to be. I almost destroyed my body to stay up late each night and also I performed terribly at work and once again I became the angry man I was before.
Carrying around the bitterness in your life is tedious, time consuming and it kills your future most of all. The anger that you carry always makes you look behind to remind yourself why you are angry and as such never forward. I never wanted to see the possibilities of my life; I only wanted to remind myself and everyone else of my failed and destructive past.
It is very peculiar to realize that you are not alone in life but that you are so very lonely. I had people around me that cared and I met a few women that seemed interesting but I didn’t care about myself so relationships never really materialized or developed.
I once again blamed GOD and held him in contempt for my loneliness and my anger. It couldn’t be might fault, it must be Gods desire or maybe it was his lack of attention that made me suffer once again.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Super Bowl Sunday
This has been my holiday for years. I have missed only 1 Super Bowl on TV since 1977 and that was in 1998 when Denver beat Green Bay. At the last minute, I took over someone else's job and low and behold on Super Bowl Sunday a surprise visit from our corporate headquaters. Yep freakin Superbowl Sunday and I am at work answering bullshit questions to a corporate lacky that has no clue that it is my only day off that week and it is the SUPERBOWL.
That is until this year, I will be riding my new motorcycle on Superbowl Sunday out in the desert and I don't care who wins or loses. I will arrive home late, tired, dirty and sore. I will be exhausted but I will have had the time of my life!
That is until this year, I will be riding my new motorcycle on Superbowl Sunday out in the desert and I don't care who wins or loses. I will arrive home late, tired, dirty and sore. I will be exhausted but I will have had the time of my life!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Si Dieu nexistait pa
"Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer."
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
my favorite web site
slashfood.com
This is my favorite web site right now. I check in a couple of times a day. Great food info and web sites.
This is my favorite web site right now. I check in a couple of times a day. Great food info and web sites.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Saint Genevieve
Oh Dear God,
Please help everyone in need, especially the animals, the pets and all of gods creatures.
Please help everyone in need, especially the animals, the pets and all of gods creatures.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Love lost
What do you do you do when you lost your soul mate?
How do you move on, where do you go next?
How do you convince yourself that the next person you meet is better than what you squandered away?
How does God help you go on with life or does God forsake you, claiming that he gave you what he could and you lost your future.
How do explain to your friends and family that you are in love with someone that does not love you?
How do you convince yourself that your heart belongs to someone that does not want your heart anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it?
When did she become “not important” to you and how could that have happened?
How do you move on, where do you go next?
How do you convince yourself that the next person you meet is better than what you squandered away?
How does God help you go on with life or does God forsake you, claiming that he gave you what he could and you lost your future.
How do explain to your friends and family that you are in love with someone that does not love you?
How do you convince yourself that your heart belongs to someone that does not want your heart anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it?
When did she become “not important” to you and how could that have happened?
Friday, August 05, 2005
Hunter Kelly
Dear Hunter,
You are not my child and I yet I mourn your loss. I never met you and you lived so much longer than my child did. I pray for you and for your mom and dad. They loved you more than you will ever know. I wish I made a different decision so many years ago.
You are not my child and I yet I mourn your loss. I never met you and you lived so much longer than my child did. I pray for you and for your mom and dad. They loved you more than you will ever know. I wish I made a different decision so many years ago.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
about me
Hello and Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends.
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame about this and spoil the fun! Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know.
INCLUDING the person that sent it to you.
1. What is your occupation/job? Human Resource Manager.
2. What color is your underwear? Dark Blue boxers.
3. What was the last thing you ate? English Muffin.
4. Do you wish on stars? Yes
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green
6. How is the weather right now? Warm, and getting hotter.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother Tim.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, very much so, more than she knows.
9. Would you say no and send this back to him or her? I thought about it.
10. How old are you today? 44, I think.
11. Favorite drink? Used to be beer, any beer but now two fingers of Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch with no freaking water, and never any ice.
12. Favorite sport to watch? Football
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, I don’t really have much hair.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? No.
15. Pets? I own no pets but my neighbor’s cat spends more time at my place than theirs.
16. Favorite month? January, because anything is possible.
17. Favorite food? Cereal
18. What was the last movie you watched? I swear to god I watched “Goonies” on TV last night.
19. Favorite day of the year? The day after my birthday.
20. What do you do to vent anger? Go for a walk after work.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hot Wheels miniature cars.
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? Definitely KISSES
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes
26. Who is most likely to respond? Pauline, my older sister.
27. Who is least likely to respond? Danielle, my younger sister.
28. Living arrangements? I live alone.
29. When was the last time you cried? A couple of years ago just before Christmas.
30. What is on the floor of your closet? 2 laundry baskets with dirty laundry.
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Jim
32. What did you do last night? I watched “Goonies” on TV.
34. What inspires you? I am inspired that anything is possible.
35. What are you afraid of? Snakes.
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese.
37. Favorite car? Porsche
38. Favorite dog breed? English Fox Hound
39. Number of keys on your key ring? 11
40. How many years at your current job? 13
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday
42. How many states have you lived in? 2
43. How many countries? 1
--Pete
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame about this and spoil the fun! Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know.
INCLUDING the person that sent it to you.
1. What is your occupation/job? Human Resource Manager.
2. What color is your underwear? Dark Blue boxers.
3. What was the last thing you ate? English Muffin.
4. Do you wish on stars? Yes
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green
6. How is the weather right now? Warm, and getting hotter.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother Tim.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, very much so, more than she knows.
9. Would you say no and send this back to him or her? I thought about it.
10. How old are you today? 44, I think.
11. Favorite drink? Used to be beer, any beer but now two fingers of Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch with no freaking water, and never any ice.
12. Favorite sport to watch? Football
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, I don’t really have much hair.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? No.
15. Pets? I own no pets but my neighbor’s cat spends more time at my place than theirs.
16. Favorite month? January, because anything is possible.
17. Favorite food? Cereal
18. What was the last movie you watched? I swear to god I watched “Goonies” on TV last night.
19. Favorite day of the year? The day after my birthday.
20. What do you do to vent anger? Go for a walk after work.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hot Wheels miniature cars.
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? Definitely KISSES
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes
26. Who is most likely to respond? Pauline, my older sister.
27. Who is least likely to respond? Danielle, my younger sister.
28. Living arrangements? I live alone.
29. When was the last time you cried? A couple of years ago just before Christmas.
30. What is on the floor of your closet? 2 laundry baskets with dirty laundry.
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Jim
32. What did you do last night? I watched “Goonies” on TV.
34. What inspires you? I am inspired that anything is possible.
35. What are you afraid of? Snakes.
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese.
37. Favorite car? Porsche
38. Favorite dog breed? English Fox Hound
39. Number of keys on your key ring? 11
40. How many years at your current job? 13
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday
42. How many states have you lived in? 2
43. How many countries? 1
--Pete
Monday, July 11, 2005
All-Star Game
On Tuesday July 12th, 2005 is the MLB All-Star game in Detroit. I wish I was there, but I am not. I will be watching the game on TV at home but living it vicariously through a good friend.
I really, really wish I was there; but oh well.
I really, really wish I was there; but oh well.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Today
Today is a great day, do you know why? Because anything is possible. Thats right anything can happen, anything! Be positive, be alive and most importantly live each day.
Monday, July 04, 2005
July 4th
Happy Fourth of July to everyone. Thank God, Jehovah, Yahweh or Buddha that we live in the greatest country in the world and probably in history. As long as all of us remember this our great country will keep existing. When we give up on us than we will go the way of the Greeks, Romans, Mayans, Egyptians, Aztecs, Sumerians, Babylonians, Mongols, etc. If we fail we will be a footnote in history and nothing more.
Vote, participate, volunteer, go to a school board meeting. Write your congressman, your senator or your govenor. Send the President an e-mail and tell him how you stand on any issue you want, but please participate. In the last presidential election less than 50 % of Americans actually voted. This is a sad statistic but a true one. Apathy will lead to our ruin and to our demise one day. Listen to everyone and make up your own damn mind. Don't be a conservative or liberal because your friends, parents, husband, wife is. Be what you are or who you are because you have LISTENED, you have READ, you have STUDIED the issues. Nothing is free, nothing.
Our freedom's and our very existence today is because someone in our past sacrificed so that we may be allowed to grocery shop, surf the web, go to a concert, paint our house any color we chose and drive our SUV's.
PARTICIPATE or we will cease to matter.
Vote, participate, volunteer, go to a school board meeting. Write your congressman, your senator or your govenor. Send the President an e-mail and tell him how you stand on any issue you want, but please participate. In the last presidential election less than 50 % of Americans actually voted. This is a sad statistic but a true one. Apathy will lead to our ruin and to our demise one day. Listen to everyone and make up your own damn mind. Don't be a conservative or liberal because your friends, parents, husband, wife is. Be what you are or who you are because you have LISTENED, you have READ, you have STUDIED the issues. Nothing is free, nothing.
Our freedom's and our very existence today is because someone in our past sacrificed so that we may be allowed to grocery shop, surf the web, go to a concert, paint our house any color we chose and drive our SUV's.
PARTICIPATE or we will cease to matter.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Live 8
Is it better than LIVE AID 20 years ago. I mean 20 years ago, I can't remember anything but QUEEN with Freddy Mercury from Live Aid and after watching the concert today on MTV I found out that Madonna sang at Live Aid. If you had asked me about Live Aid I would have said Freddy Mercury and Queen were at the top of their game that day, (Thanks Green Day). 1985 was a lifetime ago, but is Madonna as relevant in music today as she was in 1985, I mean who really wants to watch her today.
Watching Coldplay play the backup band with Richard Ashcroft from the Verve singing "BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY" is more than I ever expected from this concert and will probably be my memory, could I be so lucky to see them perform that song in October? As hurtful as it sounds Paul McCartney should retire, please leave before your voice gets real bad.
Likin Park with Jay-Z was pretty fucking good, no was pretty fucking AWESOME,but MTV you owe everyone an apology, way too many commercials, way too many promos, How much did money did CBS/MTV/Viacom make today? If I want my music censored I will fucking buy it from Walmart, quit censoring what I hear, GOT IT!
Pink Floyd was pretty good. After not playing together for 24 years, they sounded like they played together last night somewhere. Dave Gilmour and Roger Waters on the stage together I never thought it would happen, who knows maybe a tour will be coming next?
Way too many commercials, way, way, way too many, MTV what a disaster. I will bet that in the 9-5 telecast the commercials and the insipid and inane MTV "VJ's" were on screen more than all of the the music shown. I saw the ABC re-cap Saturday night and saw acts and songs not shown on the MTV show. Hey MTV why couldn't you show sets on MTV and a different set on VH1, give people a choice right, no.
The deal should have been for no commercials just music with MTV getting the rights to a couple of replays where they could have added commercials and the rights to show the videos x number of times in the next 6 months.
All of the acts except Paul McCartney and Pink Floyd had 3 songs and only 3 songs, really.
I am glad I have a DVR and could record the whole thing and skip the BS, (sorry Bob Geldoff) I am not sure it was "the greatest concert ever"( Bob Geldof) or "the day music changed" (Bono)
If it isn't about my money and the artists all peformed for free, lets see how much the DVD will sell for?
Watching Coldplay play the backup band with Richard Ashcroft from the Verve singing "BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY" is more than I ever expected from this concert and will probably be my memory, could I be so lucky to see them perform that song in October? As hurtful as it sounds Paul McCartney should retire, please leave before your voice gets real bad.
Likin Park with Jay-Z was pretty fucking good, no was pretty fucking AWESOME,but MTV you owe everyone an apology, way too many commercials, way too many promos, How much did money did CBS/MTV/Viacom make today? If I want my music censored I will fucking buy it from Walmart, quit censoring what I hear, GOT IT!
Pink Floyd was pretty good. After not playing together for 24 years, they sounded like they played together last night somewhere. Dave Gilmour and Roger Waters on the stage together I never thought it would happen, who knows maybe a tour will be coming next?
Way too many commercials, way, way, way too many, MTV what a disaster. I will bet that in the 9-5 telecast the commercials and the insipid and inane MTV "VJ's" were on screen more than all of the the music shown. I saw the ABC re-cap Saturday night and saw acts and songs not shown on the MTV show. Hey MTV why couldn't you show sets on MTV and a different set on VH1, give people a choice right, no.
The deal should have been for no commercials just music with MTV getting the rights to a couple of replays where they could have added commercials and the rights to show the videos x number of times in the next 6 months.
All of the acts except Paul McCartney and Pink Floyd had 3 songs and only 3 songs, really.
I am glad I have a DVR and could record the whole thing and skip the BS, (sorry Bob Geldoff) I am not sure it was "the greatest concert ever"( Bob Geldof) or "the day music changed" (Bono)
If it isn't about my money and the artists all peformed for free, lets see how much the DVD will sell for?
Friday, June 24, 2005
Why?
Why is it that I can't change and be like everyone around me?
Why do I return phone calls yet close friends don't return mine?
Why am I always taken advantage of by women that I meet?
Why do I seem to seek more in life?
Why do I believe what am I told by almost everyone that I know?
Why am I disappointed when things I want don't come to fruition?
Why do I seem to care about things that no one else cares about?
Why is it that my bosses can't freakin show up for work until 2 or 3 hours after I do and then lie about where they have been?
Why do I have to put up with everybody's shit? Am I really that good a listener or just gullible?
Why does it seem that what is obvious to me; no one that I work with can grasp?
Why can't something just be what it is, why does everything have to have an answer, a solution or an ending?
Why do I feel that I am in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong set of skills for where I am?
Why do the people I work with seem so bland, so disappointing, so unbelievably stupid?
Why does it feel sometimes that I am a snob?
WHY?
Why do I return phone calls yet close friends don't return mine?
Why am I always taken advantage of by women that I meet?
Why do I seem to seek more in life?
Why do I believe what am I told by almost everyone that I know?
Why am I disappointed when things I want don't come to fruition?
Why do I seem to care about things that no one else cares about?
Why is it that my bosses can't freakin show up for work until 2 or 3 hours after I do and then lie about where they have been?
Why do I have to put up with everybody's shit? Am I really that good a listener or just gullible?
Why does it seem that what is obvious to me; no one that I work with can grasp?
Why can't something just be what it is, why does everything have to have an answer, a solution or an ending?
Why do I feel that I am in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong set of skills for where I am?
Why do the people I work with seem so bland, so disappointing, so unbelievably stupid?
Why does it feel sometimes that I am a snob?
WHY?
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