"Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer."
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
my favorite web site
slashfood.com
This is my favorite web site right now. I check in a couple of times a day. Great food info and web sites.
This is my favorite web site right now. I check in a couple of times a day. Great food info and web sites.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Saint Genevieve
Oh Dear God,
Please help everyone in need, especially the animals, the pets and all of gods creatures.
Please help everyone in need, especially the animals, the pets and all of gods creatures.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Love lost
What do you do you do when you lost your soul mate?
How do you move on, where do you go next?
How do you convince yourself that the next person you meet is better than what you squandered away?
How does God help you go on with life or does God forsake you, claiming that he gave you what he could and you lost your future.
How do explain to your friends and family that you are in love with someone that does not love you?
How do you convince yourself that your heart belongs to someone that does not want your heart anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it?
When did she become “not important” to you and how could that have happened?
How do you move on, where do you go next?
How do you convince yourself that the next person you meet is better than what you squandered away?
How does God help you go on with life or does God forsake you, claiming that he gave you what he could and you lost your future.
How do explain to your friends and family that you are in love with someone that does not love you?
How do you convince yourself that your heart belongs to someone that does not want your heart anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it?
When did she become “not important” to you and how could that have happened?
Friday, August 05, 2005
Hunter Kelly
Dear Hunter,
You are not my child and I yet I mourn your loss. I never met you and you lived so much longer than my child did. I pray for you and for your mom and dad. They loved you more than you will ever know. I wish I made a different decision so many years ago.
You are not my child and I yet I mourn your loss. I never met you and you lived so much longer than my child did. I pray for you and for your mom and dad. They loved you more than you will ever know. I wish I made a different decision so many years ago.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
about me
Hello and Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends.
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame about this and spoil the fun! Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know.
INCLUDING the person that sent it to you.
1. What is your occupation/job? Human Resource Manager.
2. What color is your underwear? Dark Blue boxers.
3. What was the last thing you ate? English Muffin.
4. Do you wish on stars? Yes
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green
6. How is the weather right now? Warm, and getting hotter.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother Tim.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, very much so, more than she knows.
9. Would you say no and send this back to him or her? I thought about it.
10. How old are you today? 44, I think.
11. Favorite drink? Used to be beer, any beer but now two fingers of Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch with no freaking water, and never any ice.
12. Favorite sport to watch? Football
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, I don’t really have much hair.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? No.
15. Pets? I own no pets but my neighbor’s cat spends more time at my place than theirs.
16. Favorite month? January, because anything is possible.
17. Favorite food? Cereal
18. What was the last movie you watched? I swear to god I watched “Goonies” on TV last night.
19. Favorite day of the year? The day after my birthday.
20. What do you do to vent anger? Go for a walk after work.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hot Wheels miniature cars.
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? Definitely KISSES
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes
26. Who is most likely to respond? Pauline, my older sister.
27. Who is least likely to respond? Danielle, my younger sister.
28. Living arrangements? I live alone.
29. When was the last time you cried? A couple of years ago just before Christmas.
30. What is on the floor of your closet? 2 laundry baskets with dirty laundry.
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Jim
32. What did you do last night? I watched “Goonies” on TV.
34. What inspires you? I am inspired that anything is possible.
35. What are you afraid of? Snakes.
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese.
37. Favorite car? Porsche
38. Favorite dog breed? English Fox Hound
39. Number of keys on your key ring? 11
40. How many years at your current job? 13
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday
42. How many states have you lived in? 2
43. How many countries? 1
--Pete
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame about this and spoil the fun! Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know.
INCLUDING the person that sent it to you.
1. What is your occupation/job? Human Resource Manager.
2. What color is your underwear? Dark Blue boxers.
3. What was the last thing you ate? English Muffin.
4. Do you wish on stars? Yes
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green
6. How is the weather right now? Warm, and getting hotter.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother Tim.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, very much so, more than she knows.
9. Would you say no and send this back to him or her? I thought about it.
10. How old are you today? 44, I think.
11. Favorite drink? Used to be beer, any beer but now two fingers of Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch with no freaking water, and never any ice.
12. Favorite sport to watch? Football
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, I don’t really have much hair.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? No.
15. Pets? I own no pets but my neighbor’s cat spends more time at my place than theirs.
16. Favorite month? January, because anything is possible.
17. Favorite food? Cereal
18. What was the last movie you watched? I swear to god I watched “Goonies” on TV last night.
19. Favorite day of the year? The day after my birthday.
20. What do you do to vent anger? Go for a walk after work.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hot Wheels miniature cars.
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? Definitely KISSES
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes
26. Who is most likely to respond? Pauline, my older sister.
27. Who is least likely to respond? Danielle, my younger sister.
28. Living arrangements? I live alone.
29. When was the last time you cried? A couple of years ago just before Christmas.
30. What is on the floor of your closet? 2 laundry baskets with dirty laundry.
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Jim
32. What did you do last night? I watched “Goonies” on TV.
34. What inspires you? I am inspired that anything is possible.
35. What are you afraid of? Snakes.
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese.
37. Favorite car? Porsche
38. Favorite dog breed? English Fox Hound
39. Number of keys on your key ring? 11
40. How many years at your current job? 13
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday
42. How many states have you lived in? 2
43. How many countries? 1
--Pete
Monday, July 11, 2005
All-Star Game
On Tuesday July 12th, 2005 is the MLB All-Star game in Detroit. I wish I was there, but I am not. I will be watching the game on TV at home but living it vicariously through a good friend.
I really, really wish I was there; but oh well.
I really, really wish I was there; but oh well.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Today
Today is a great day, do you know why? Because anything is possible. Thats right anything can happen, anything! Be positive, be alive and most importantly live each day.
Monday, July 04, 2005
July 4th
Happy Fourth of July to everyone. Thank God, Jehovah, Yahweh or Buddha that we live in the greatest country in the world and probably in history. As long as all of us remember this our great country will keep existing. When we give up on us than we will go the way of the Greeks, Romans, Mayans, Egyptians, Aztecs, Sumerians, Babylonians, Mongols, etc. If we fail we will be a footnote in history and nothing more.
Vote, participate, volunteer, go to a school board meeting. Write your congressman, your senator or your govenor. Send the President an e-mail and tell him how you stand on any issue you want, but please participate. In the last presidential election less than 50 % of Americans actually voted. This is a sad statistic but a true one. Apathy will lead to our ruin and to our demise one day. Listen to everyone and make up your own damn mind. Don't be a conservative or liberal because your friends, parents, husband, wife is. Be what you are or who you are because you have LISTENED, you have READ, you have STUDIED the issues. Nothing is free, nothing.
Our freedom's and our very existence today is because someone in our past sacrificed so that we may be allowed to grocery shop, surf the web, go to a concert, paint our house any color we chose and drive our SUV's.
PARTICIPATE or we will cease to matter.
Vote, participate, volunteer, go to a school board meeting. Write your congressman, your senator or your govenor. Send the President an e-mail and tell him how you stand on any issue you want, but please participate. In the last presidential election less than 50 % of Americans actually voted. This is a sad statistic but a true one. Apathy will lead to our ruin and to our demise one day. Listen to everyone and make up your own damn mind. Don't be a conservative or liberal because your friends, parents, husband, wife is. Be what you are or who you are because you have LISTENED, you have READ, you have STUDIED the issues. Nothing is free, nothing.
Our freedom's and our very existence today is because someone in our past sacrificed so that we may be allowed to grocery shop, surf the web, go to a concert, paint our house any color we chose and drive our SUV's.
PARTICIPATE or we will cease to matter.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Live 8
Is it better than LIVE AID 20 years ago. I mean 20 years ago, I can't remember anything but QUEEN with Freddy Mercury from Live Aid and after watching the concert today on MTV I found out that Madonna sang at Live Aid. If you had asked me about Live Aid I would have said Freddy Mercury and Queen were at the top of their game that day, (Thanks Green Day). 1985 was a lifetime ago, but is Madonna as relevant in music today as she was in 1985, I mean who really wants to watch her today.
Watching Coldplay play the backup band with Richard Ashcroft from the Verve singing "BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY" is more than I ever expected from this concert and will probably be my memory, could I be so lucky to see them perform that song in October? As hurtful as it sounds Paul McCartney should retire, please leave before your voice gets real bad.
Likin Park with Jay-Z was pretty fucking good, no was pretty fucking AWESOME,but MTV you owe everyone an apology, way too many commercials, way too many promos, How much did money did CBS/MTV/Viacom make today? If I want my music censored I will fucking buy it from Walmart, quit censoring what I hear, GOT IT!
Pink Floyd was pretty good. After not playing together for 24 years, they sounded like they played together last night somewhere. Dave Gilmour and Roger Waters on the stage together I never thought it would happen, who knows maybe a tour will be coming next?
Way too many commercials, way, way, way too many, MTV what a disaster. I will bet that in the 9-5 telecast the commercials and the insipid and inane MTV "VJ's" were on screen more than all of the the music shown. I saw the ABC re-cap Saturday night and saw acts and songs not shown on the MTV show. Hey MTV why couldn't you show sets on MTV and a different set on VH1, give people a choice right, no.
The deal should have been for no commercials just music with MTV getting the rights to a couple of replays where they could have added commercials and the rights to show the videos x number of times in the next 6 months.
All of the acts except Paul McCartney and Pink Floyd had 3 songs and only 3 songs, really.
I am glad I have a DVR and could record the whole thing and skip the BS, (sorry Bob Geldoff) I am not sure it was "the greatest concert ever"( Bob Geldof) or "the day music changed" (Bono)
If it isn't about my money and the artists all peformed for free, lets see how much the DVD will sell for?
Watching Coldplay play the backup band with Richard Ashcroft from the Verve singing "BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY" is more than I ever expected from this concert and will probably be my memory, could I be so lucky to see them perform that song in October? As hurtful as it sounds Paul McCartney should retire, please leave before your voice gets real bad.
Likin Park with Jay-Z was pretty fucking good, no was pretty fucking AWESOME,but MTV you owe everyone an apology, way too many commercials, way too many promos, How much did money did CBS/MTV/Viacom make today? If I want my music censored I will fucking buy it from Walmart, quit censoring what I hear, GOT IT!
Pink Floyd was pretty good. After not playing together for 24 years, they sounded like they played together last night somewhere. Dave Gilmour and Roger Waters on the stage together I never thought it would happen, who knows maybe a tour will be coming next?
Way too many commercials, way, way, way too many, MTV what a disaster. I will bet that in the 9-5 telecast the commercials and the insipid and inane MTV "VJ's" were on screen more than all of the the music shown. I saw the ABC re-cap Saturday night and saw acts and songs not shown on the MTV show. Hey MTV why couldn't you show sets on MTV and a different set on VH1, give people a choice right, no.
The deal should have been for no commercials just music with MTV getting the rights to a couple of replays where they could have added commercials and the rights to show the videos x number of times in the next 6 months.
All of the acts except Paul McCartney and Pink Floyd had 3 songs and only 3 songs, really.
I am glad I have a DVR and could record the whole thing and skip the BS, (sorry Bob Geldoff) I am not sure it was "the greatest concert ever"( Bob Geldof) or "the day music changed" (Bono)
If it isn't about my money and the artists all peformed for free, lets see how much the DVD will sell for?
Friday, June 24, 2005
Why?
Why is it that I can't change and be like everyone around me?
Why do I return phone calls yet close friends don't return mine?
Why am I always taken advantage of by women that I meet?
Why do I seem to seek more in life?
Why do I believe what am I told by almost everyone that I know?
Why am I disappointed when things I want don't come to fruition?
Why do I seem to care about things that no one else cares about?
Why is it that my bosses can't freakin show up for work until 2 or 3 hours after I do and then lie about where they have been?
Why do I have to put up with everybody's shit? Am I really that good a listener or just gullible?
Why does it seem that what is obvious to me; no one that I work with can grasp?
Why can't something just be what it is, why does everything have to have an answer, a solution or an ending?
Why do I feel that I am in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong set of skills for where I am?
Why do the people I work with seem so bland, so disappointing, so unbelievably stupid?
Why does it feel sometimes that I am a snob?
WHY?
Why do I return phone calls yet close friends don't return mine?
Why am I always taken advantage of by women that I meet?
Why do I seem to seek more in life?
Why do I believe what am I told by almost everyone that I know?
Why am I disappointed when things I want don't come to fruition?
Why do I seem to care about things that no one else cares about?
Why is it that my bosses can't freakin show up for work until 2 or 3 hours after I do and then lie about where they have been?
Why do I have to put up with everybody's shit? Am I really that good a listener or just gullible?
Why does it seem that what is obvious to me; no one that I work with can grasp?
Why can't something just be what it is, why does everything have to have an answer, a solution or an ending?
Why do I feel that I am in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong set of skills for where I am?
Why do the people I work with seem so bland, so disappointing, so unbelievably stupid?
Why does it feel sometimes that I am a snob?
WHY?
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Tsunami
If we get past the fact that the the tsunami warning last night here in Ventura County and all along the West Coast was almost surreal in the reporting of it, Michael Jackson was still the topic on the major news channels, ( FOX, CNN, MSNBC etc) while the Tsunami warning was blaring on the local channels.
Only in LA does this happen; Tsunami warning everyone up north is RUNNING away from the beach but in LA crowds gathered at the beaches to watch the Tsunami come in. Lets not forget that 6 months ago a Tsunami destroyed SE Asia. The knuckleheads crowded at the locals beaches to wait for the waves.
I can just imagine that the Hollywood "A-listers" throwing a televised fundraiser for the idiots that ran down the beach to witness the wave.
ONLY IN LA.
Only in LA does this happen; Tsunami warning everyone up north is RUNNING away from the beach but in LA crowds gathered at the beaches to watch the Tsunami come in. Lets not forget that 6 months ago a Tsunami destroyed SE Asia. The knuckleheads crowded at the locals beaches to wait for the waves.
I can just imagine that the Hollywood "A-listers" throwing a televised fundraiser for the idiots that ran down the beach to witness the wave.
ONLY IN LA.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Isn't it true
Tonight I heard the following and I believe it to be true
Remember,
Two out hits will get you into heaven.
I hope so!
Remember,
Two out hits will get you into heaven.
I hope so!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
What is up with love?
My god the how twisted we get about love and the lack there of. I know Pat Benatar said that "Love is a Battlefield" but what are you gonna do?
When cupids arrow hits it hurts so good but not as much as when the arrow finally gets removed, right! Falling in and out of love over and over probably isn't a good thing but I will go with the feelings I have while I have them. The look, the smile, just the sound of the voice can drive us wild.
When things go bad at the end when that arrow gets yanked out of your heart, that is more painful than any thing I have ever experienced. The loss of love is a killer , a life changing event for some and for others it just isn't that painfully. I don't understand why some can move on so easy and others are crippled when a relationship is over.
Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Life isn't fair and love hurts. Good love hurts and bad love hurts, but it is so much worth it.
When cupids arrow hits it hurts so good but not as much as when the arrow finally gets removed, right! Falling in and out of love over and over probably isn't a good thing but I will go with the feelings I have while I have them. The look, the smile, just the sound of the voice can drive us wild.
When things go bad at the end when that arrow gets yanked out of your heart, that is more painful than any thing I have ever experienced. The loss of love is a killer , a life changing event for some and for others it just isn't that painfully. I don't understand why some can move on so easy and others are crippled when a relationship is over.
Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Life isn't fair and love hurts. Good love hurts and bad love hurts, but it is so much worth it.
Monday, May 02, 2005
She couldn't say no
Ok this chick from Georgia that ran away before her wedding has got me confused. First of all whats up with all of the pictures of her, BIG EYES is she high or what and the groom to be doesn't look like much of a catch biut I digress.
How come this stressed out lady could not have picked up up the telephone and,
"Hey, hubby to be, Fuck Off I'm not getting married on Saturday, See Ya."
She could have saved everyone a lot of trouble and time. She would not be the new media darling and just think of the idiots in Hollywood that are headed out to Georgia right now to sign her up for a movie deal.
How come this stressed out lady could not have picked up up the telephone and,
"Hey, hubby to be, Fuck Off I'm not getting married on Saturday, See Ya."
She could have saved everyone a lot of trouble and time. She would not be the new media darling and just think of the idiots in Hollywood that are headed out to Georgia right now to sign her up for a movie deal.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Be Careful
If your name is Jennifer beware, Ben Affleck is getting engaged to Jennifer 2. Watch out Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jennifer Anniston, you could be next
Monday, April 18, 2005
My Weekend
Lets see what happened to me this past weekend. On Friday night while a crew was digging a hole to plant a tree at my place the crew drilled through a conduit that contained the telephone wires to apartment. So as of Friday night no phone, no internet. On Sunday while trying to fix the phone they broke the cable box.
Now I have no phone and no cable, I am at work at 5:45 pm adding to my blog and checking my emails. What a life I am having. Everything back working on Thursday or Friday.
No Pope yet just black smoke. Come on Butchie we are pulling for you.
Pete
Now I have no phone and no cable, I am at work at 5:45 pm adding to my blog and checking my emails. What a life I am having. Everything back working on Thursday or Friday.
No Pope yet just black smoke. Come on Butchie we are pulling for you.
Pete
Thursday, April 14, 2005
A new Pope
We are trying to get a friend of my sisters elected Pope. I know it is a long shot but he is a baptised Catholic male that isn't married, never divorced. When asked what name he would take because the Pope never takes his real name, he said how about Pope Butch the First.
Great name, so I sent him an email:
OK tell his Holiness Butch the First, I'm looking for a few things from him when he takes over:
1. Change the taste of the wafer, Honey, BBQ, Ranch, Cheddar or Jalapeno Flavor I get the symbolism but the taste is horrible.
2. I want more than a sip of wine, I don't need a bottle but the after taste of the wafer in my throat needs a little liquid to wash it down. Come on everyone knows about a Dog and a beer, Cookies and milk got it, Wine and cheese, Coffee and donuts, Wafer and wine. Give me a cup; I will pay for it in my donation.
3. Lets make confession fun for everyone (posted anonymously of course) the top ten sins of the week kind of of David Letterman thing. Have everyone vote at Sunday Mass for the best sins of the week. If your sin is number one at the end of the week, you get a prize. Maybe first place is everlasting life or no more confession forever, something good not a ribbon or t-shirt.
4. Get rid of the little red cardinal hats, how about a baseball cap with LA Diocese, or Cardinal of South Africa. Keep the Pope hat, which by the way is very cool.
5. Lets work on the dress code at mass for everyone. Tuxedos and ball gowns are not required but if I see one more hoochie wearing tight spandex and earrings the size of Texas with the husband wearing his " Good Overalls" I will commit a sin.
6. I think we need a refined Ten Commandments; Coveting Thy Neighbors Wife needs some work. We are in a new Millennium, not everyone wants the wife these days, unless you live on Wisteria Lane.
7. I want Butch the First to get rid of the incense. If I want to burn my nose hairs I will call a drug dealer.
8. I am not real cool on the raising of the hands thing in mass. It's early in the morning and all of that standing, kneeling, sitting, I get tired; remember it is mass not a workout at the Y.
9. Keep the uniforms for Catholic School girls. I will be very honest; you definitely got that right.
10.. Last but not least, if the priest can't speak English because he is from the 3rd world, get a freaking nun to hold the mass. I am not suggesting that you let women in the priest hood, (Confession for young men would be very interesting) Trust me it is more important to understand what's going on and to make sure I am on the right page, than to have a little dude from the Philippines mumbling on stage.
Let His Holiness know I'm working on his election and if he needs something from me he should call on the phone or email me. I already have too many voices in my head and I am not sure I will be able to pick his voice out from the rest.
Thanks in advance, your servant
Pete
Great name, so I sent him an email:
OK tell his Holiness Butch the First, I'm looking for a few things from him when he takes over:
1. Change the taste of the wafer, Honey, BBQ, Ranch, Cheddar or Jalapeno Flavor I get the symbolism but the taste is horrible.
2. I want more than a sip of wine, I don't need a bottle but the after taste of the wafer in my throat needs a little liquid to wash it down. Come on everyone knows about a Dog and a beer, Cookies and milk got it, Wine and cheese, Coffee and donuts, Wafer and wine. Give me a cup; I will pay for it in my donation.
3. Lets make confession fun for everyone (posted anonymously of course) the top ten sins of the week kind of of David Letterman thing. Have everyone vote at Sunday Mass for the best sins of the week. If your sin is number one at the end of the week, you get a prize. Maybe first place is everlasting life or no more confession forever, something good not a ribbon or t-shirt.
4. Get rid of the little red cardinal hats, how about a baseball cap with LA Diocese, or Cardinal of South Africa. Keep the Pope hat, which by the way is very cool.
5. Lets work on the dress code at mass for everyone. Tuxedos and ball gowns are not required but if I see one more hoochie wearing tight spandex and earrings the size of Texas with the husband wearing his " Good Overalls" I will commit a sin.
6. I think we need a refined Ten Commandments; Coveting Thy Neighbors Wife needs some work. We are in a new Millennium, not everyone wants the wife these days, unless you live on Wisteria Lane.
7. I want Butch the First to get rid of the incense. If I want to burn my nose hairs I will call a drug dealer.
8. I am not real cool on the raising of the hands thing in mass. It's early in the morning and all of that standing, kneeling, sitting, I get tired; remember it is mass not a workout at the Y.
9. Keep the uniforms for Catholic School girls. I will be very honest; you definitely got that right.
10.. Last but not least, if the priest can't speak English because he is from the 3rd world, get a freaking nun to hold the mass. I am not suggesting that you let women in the priest hood, (Confession for young men would be very interesting) Trust me it is more important to understand what's going on and to make sure I am on the right page, than to have a little dude from the Philippines mumbling on stage.
Let His Holiness know I'm working on his election and if he needs something from me he should call on the phone or email me. I already have too many voices in my head and I am not sure I will be able to pick his voice out from the rest.
Thanks in advance, your servant
Pete
Friday, April 01, 2005
My wish
Having this young lady (who by everyone that knew her) claims she was the most private person and didn't really like to have her picture taken, it is so wrong that her picture has been spread all over the world. I have stated not only do I not want to be hooked up, I don't even want to be plugged in. Just jam me full of painkillers and stick me in the corner, I will die and that is it. I shudder to think that there is someone out their that doesn't believe me I DON'T WANT THE MACHINE AS PART OF ME, DARTH VADER IS JUST A MOVIE CHARACTER.
IF ANYONE EVER PUTS VIDEO OR PICTURES OF ME IN THAT KIND OF STATE OUT FOR OTHERS TO SEE, I SWEAR TO GOD, I SWEAR TO BUDDHA, I SWEAR TO THE DEVIL, TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE I WILL HAUNT THOSE RESPONSIBLE UNTIL THEY DIE. I WILL ENSURE A PAINFUL DEATH AND HORRIBLE AFTERLIFE, ALL I CAN SAY IS SHIRLEY McCLAIN.
I will awake from my coma and I will kill everyone in sight. Count on it.
To video tape anyone in that state and then to release it to the media, is absolutely horrid. To video me, the man that doesn't like having his picture taken would crush what little spirit I have left in an almost lifeless body. I am a private person who relishes my privacy and that will probably cause me to die alone and if anyone should publicize my suffering you are not fulfilling my wishes.
Do not FUCK me over and who ever steps in and claims that I was drunk when I wrote this, they are lying. One of you will think that you know what's best for me and will try to convince the others that I really want to be hooked up to a machine so that YOU ALL could feel better about yourselves, WRONG.
My wishes are known to all including GOD. I believe my spirit will live longer that in the body that it is currently resides in. I honestly believe all of us are more than just these "bags of chemicals and water" we drag around. I want to be cremated and I want a contest to decide what happens to my ashes, yep a contest. Everyone at the funeral gets to write down what they they think should happen to my ashes. Trust me I don't want to sit on someone's shelf or mantle.
If anyone wants to know what I want well I probably would like a sightseeing trip, how about everyone take a baggy or a little box of my ashes and take me everywhere. Or you could send me to experience a week with each person at the funeral, kind off like the Stanley Cup Trophy. I think that after a while most of the ashes will have been spilt all over the place and I will in essence BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE, (I have been complaining for years about how I can't be in more than one place at once , well when I die yes I can.
I want a funeral where everyone will show up and tell lies, (all funerals are about lies, great guy , what a shame he died, blah, blah, blah) about me to everyone else that will agree with the lies. I want lots of music and flowers for all of the women to take home, they like the flowers not me. The music should be rock no god damn church funeral music. No choir no lady in the back playing the cello or a flute.
Have a party afterwards and then everyone take home a piece of me in a baggy or in a box.
These are my wishes.
IF ANYONE EVER PUTS VIDEO OR PICTURES OF ME IN THAT KIND OF STATE OUT FOR OTHERS TO SEE, I SWEAR TO GOD, I SWEAR TO BUDDHA, I SWEAR TO THE DEVIL, TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE I WILL HAUNT THOSE RESPONSIBLE UNTIL THEY DIE. I WILL ENSURE A PAINFUL DEATH AND HORRIBLE AFTERLIFE, ALL I CAN SAY IS SHIRLEY McCLAIN.
I will awake from my coma and I will kill everyone in sight. Count on it.
To video tape anyone in that state and then to release it to the media, is absolutely horrid. To video me, the man that doesn't like having his picture taken would crush what little spirit I have left in an almost lifeless body. I am a private person who relishes my privacy and that will probably cause me to die alone and if anyone should publicize my suffering you are not fulfilling my wishes.
Do not FUCK me over and who ever steps in and claims that I was drunk when I wrote this, they are lying. One of you will think that you know what's best for me and will try to convince the others that I really want to be hooked up to a machine so that YOU ALL could feel better about yourselves, WRONG.
My wishes are known to all including GOD. I believe my spirit will live longer that in the body that it is currently resides in. I honestly believe all of us are more than just these "bags of chemicals and water" we drag around. I want to be cremated and I want a contest to decide what happens to my ashes, yep a contest. Everyone at the funeral gets to write down what they they think should happen to my ashes. Trust me I don't want to sit on someone's shelf or mantle.
If anyone wants to know what I want well I probably would like a sightseeing trip, how about everyone take a baggy or a little box of my ashes and take me everywhere. Or you could send me to experience a week with each person at the funeral, kind off like the Stanley Cup Trophy. I think that after a while most of the ashes will have been spilt all over the place and I will in essence BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE, (I have been complaining for years about how I can't be in more than one place at once , well when I die yes I can.
I want a funeral where everyone will show up and tell lies, (all funerals are about lies, great guy , what a shame he died, blah, blah, blah) about me to everyone else that will agree with the lies. I want lots of music and flowers for all of the women to take home, they like the flowers not me. The music should be rock no god damn church funeral music. No choir no lady in the back playing the cello or a flute.
Have a party afterwards and then everyone take home a piece of me in a baggy or in a box.
These are my wishes.
Monday, March 28, 2005
My Family today?
Honest to God this is true and it is not a TV show episode.
This afternoon my Mothers Uncle William, (My Moms mothers brother), got that, calls and tells my Mom that his sister Florence has died and she, (my Mom) needs to get a hold of her Mom, Williams Sister the news. My Mom is upset and tries to get a hold of her Mom, (My Grandmother) and can’t. She calls and calls no answer. My mother finally calls her sister Joan and relays the news. My Aunt Joan finally gets a hold of my Grandmother and tells her that her sister has died.
Meanwhile…
My mother calls back to her Uncle William in New Hampshire. Now I am sure that he is 80 or 90 years old and his hearing isn’t so good but, when my Mom asks her uncle William, “How did Aunt Florence die” He yells to his wife in the back ground, “Hey was it Florence or Helen that died.” My Mom hears, “it was Helen, not Florence.” My mom hangs up the telephone and calls back to my Aunt Joan’s and tells her, “Don’t call mom yet there has been a mistake. Florence didn’t die, Aunt Helen did.” My Aunt Joan hangs up the phone on my mom and calls my grandmother back to explain that her other sister has died.
I don’t know about any one else but this is scary. I hope I live a long time and I hope that I never have to call one of my brothers or sisters to tell them that one of my other siblings has died. If I do, I hope I get the name right.
This afternoon my Mothers Uncle William, (My Moms mothers brother), got that, calls and tells my Mom that his sister Florence has died and she, (my Mom) needs to get a hold of her Mom, Williams Sister the news. My Mom is upset and tries to get a hold of her Mom, (My Grandmother) and can’t. She calls and calls no answer. My mother finally calls her sister Joan and relays the news. My Aunt Joan finally gets a hold of my Grandmother and tells her that her sister has died.
Meanwhile…
My mother calls back to her Uncle William in New Hampshire. Now I am sure that he is 80 or 90 years old and his hearing isn’t so good but, when my Mom asks her uncle William, “How did Aunt Florence die” He yells to his wife in the back ground, “Hey was it Florence or Helen that died.” My Mom hears, “it was Helen, not Florence.” My mom hangs up the telephone and calls back to my Aunt Joan’s and tells her, “Don’t call mom yet there has been a mistake. Florence didn’t die, Aunt Helen did.” My Aunt Joan hangs up the phone on my mom and calls my grandmother back to explain that her other sister has died.
I don’t know about any one else but this is scary. I hope I live a long time and I hope that I never have to call one of my brothers or sisters to tell them that one of my other siblings has died. If I do, I hope I get the name right.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Here are some thoughts
I have been doing some thinking on Terri Schiavo. I have never met her or any one close to her and I can only comment from my point of view and give an opinion; I don’t pretend to be Solomon or to really reach meaningful conclusion here. Are we extending her life or are we prolonging the death experience. I signed the DNR letter when my father collapsed and was taken to the hospital. I had many conversations with my Dad over the years and I knew that he did not want heroic measures taken to extend his life if he was on life support. This decision was easy when I signed it at the hospital and I was standing next to him when he took his last breathe. Months later the nightmares began and I did feel guilty for some time, convincing myself over and over again that my decision was correct and then I convinced myself that it was wrong and I had killed my father. Today I have come to grips with the fact that I did what he wanted and that is all that I did, I fulfilled his wishes, not mine, and I did help my dad go to heaven the way he wanted to go, his way and on his terms.
There are a lot of hysterical people running around claiming that they know what is best for this poor women and family. None of these people have ever met her, met her husband until she unfortunately became the “flavor of the day” no one outside of her family knew her.
Her family is her husband and to a point her father and mother. When she married her father for lack of a better phrase, “ Gave her away.” I know this doesn’t mean what it says but when she married her husband was, is the one that is responsible for her. Tragic as it is he does have the right to make this decision. The husband has for years told the same story, that after a couple of funerals were family members died after being on ventilators she told him that she never wanted to be like that. Now his error was that he didn’t have her write it down, but how does a young husband tell his even younger wife she needs to write down this “living will statement.” I am sure lots of Americans are writing down their wishes now, but 15 years ago this was a quiet subject for everyone.
I have been married and I had conversations with my wife about our plans and our wishes that I never told my parents about.
While in hospice care her husband was asked to remove her from the facility because he demanded on a continuous basis better treatment for his wife. She has been bedridden for 15 years and has never had a bedsore. 15 years in bed and no bedsores, I would say that that isn’t mistreatment that is excellent treatment.
Her husband never mistreated this poor girl; she had a heart attack due to low potassium from an eating disorder. Her medical care was botched at the hospital and she was put in hospice. There was a settlement that pays for her care and has not made the husband rich. This is why the guy comes across as the bad guy because he didn’t sit by her bedside everyday and forgo any hope of a life for himself. He went out and met someone else and didn’t play the grieving husband or play the martyr role that we think he should play. Did he give away his right to make this decision when he gave up on her and started seeing someone else, maybe I think but she was already in a coma when he met someone else.
Terri’s parents are the ones I feel sorry for the most. What are they supposed to do, not fight and let her die? They are doing what I hope all parents would do love, cherish and care for their children forever. Some would say that they are not caring for her but extending her suffering, but I fear that they are doing all they know how to do, love their daughter.
Everybody has had his or her shot to make their case but the truth is she decided what she wanted to have down in her conversations with her husband years ago. I cannot imagine the pain and agony that her husband has gone through and has to deal with now and how has he changed in 15 years of battling to fulfill his wives wishes, but it seems to me that everyone should take a deep breath and let go.
I do worry in part because somehow it just doesn’t seem right have close 30, 000 people a year die from having their life support turned off by family members, yet I do not want to be on life support and be a burden for my family. We do not know what it is like to be the patient because only 1 person has ever “recovered” while being in the same degree of “coma” or “vegetative state” as Mrs. Schiavo and he remembers nothing of his lengthy hospital state.
Life is precious and should not be wasted and love is even more precious and is rarely viewed in such a bright light but so many people and when magnified by the TV cameras, the politicians and the religious people I fear we all loose sight of the absolute gift we have.
There are a lot of hysterical people running around claiming that they know what is best for this poor women and family. None of these people have ever met her, met her husband until she unfortunately became the “flavor of the day” no one outside of her family knew her.
Her family is her husband and to a point her father and mother. When she married her father for lack of a better phrase, “ Gave her away.” I know this doesn’t mean what it says but when she married her husband was, is the one that is responsible for her. Tragic as it is he does have the right to make this decision. The husband has for years told the same story, that after a couple of funerals were family members died after being on ventilators she told him that she never wanted to be like that. Now his error was that he didn’t have her write it down, but how does a young husband tell his even younger wife she needs to write down this “living will statement.” I am sure lots of Americans are writing down their wishes now, but 15 years ago this was a quiet subject for everyone.
I have been married and I had conversations with my wife about our plans and our wishes that I never told my parents about.
While in hospice care her husband was asked to remove her from the facility because he demanded on a continuous basis better treatment for his wife. She has been bedridden for 15 years and has never had a bedsore. 15 years in bed and no bedsores, I would say that that isn’t mistreatment that is excellent treatment.
Her husband never mistreated this poor girl; she had a heart attack due to low potassium from an eating disorder. Her medical care was botched at the hospital and she was put in hospice. There was a settlement that pays for her care and has not made the husband rich. This is why the guy comes across as the bad guy because he didn’t sit by her bedside everyday and forgo any hope of a life for himself. He went out and met someone else and didn’t play the grieving husband or play the martyr role that we think he should play. Did he give away his right to make this decision when he gave up on her and started seeing someone else, maybe I think but she was already in a coma when he met someone else.
Terri’s parents are the ones I feel sorry for the most. What are they supposed to do, not fight and let her die? They are doing what I hope all parents would do love, cherish and care for their children forever. Some would say that they are not caring for her but extending her suffering, but I fear that they are doing all they know how to do, love their daughter.
Everybody has had his or her shot to make their case but the truth is she decided what she wanted to have down in her conversations with her husband years ago. I cannot imagine the pain and agony that her husband has gone through and has to deal with now and how has he changed in 15 years of battling to fulfill his wives wishes, but it seems to me that everyone should take a deep breath and let go.
I do worry in part because somehow it just doesn’t seem right have close 30, 000 people a year die from having their life support turned off by family members, yet I do not want to be on life support and be a burden for my family. We do not know what it is like to be the patient because only 1 person has ever “recovered” while being in the same degree of “coma” or “vegetative state” as Mrs. Schiavo and he remembers nothing of his lengthy hospital state.
Life is precious and should not be wasted and love is even more precious and is rarely viewed in such a bright light but so many people and when magnified by the TV cameras, the politicians and the religious people I fear we all loose sight of the absolute gift we have.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Spring Time Vacation
No matter what, I will head back to Phoenix next year for more baseball and sun. I will stay in a different hotel near a ballpark and will get to different stadiums than this year. I saw games Sunday Night, Monday afternoon, Monday Night, Tuesday Day and Night. I spent Tuesday morning watching the Angels take infield practice for 2 hours and I watched batting practice while leaning my face through a chain link fence like a little kid. I saw the sausage race at the Brewers Park and actually stood up and cheered for the hot dog to win the race. I talked baseball with some strangers at some of the games and sat alone on the grass at others and just enjoyed the day. I didn't have to leave early because I had a long drive home and I waited until the end of the games to leave. I watched Major League Baseball players play catch with their kids on the field right in front of me and they were not bothered for an n autograph.
I saw little kids sing the national anthem as well as a group of 75 years old ladies and heard a tape of a choir sing it as well. The park would become extremely quiet and EVERYBODY took off their hats and most of sang along. I was in a stadium with as few as 2700 people and again with over 12, 000 packed in. I saw big stars, Vlad Guerrero, Todd Helton, Ben Sheets, Sean Green, Adrian Beltrae, etc and saw future stars like Ian Kinsler and Macier Izturis.
While at the Angel game on Monday afternoon I watched a stupid fan from NY or NJ act like an ass. He was pasty white in color and wearing a NY Yankee hat and about 40 years old. He brought his elderly father to the game and headed down the aisle past me. He then proceeded to berate a couple of guys that he claimed were sitting in his seats. He threatened “I will beat the living shit out you if don’t fooking move right now”. That’s right “fooking” not fuck, but the long drawn out version only available from an east coast idiot.
The two guys just sat there in their seats and said, “Hey dude, these are our seats your in the wrong section.” The knucklehead from back east went on and on with the “Foook You” Then he pulls the “Do you know who I am” card. Yep, “Do you know who I am? Who freakin cares who you are. Finally the usher who is older than dirt comes down to see what the commotion is; the usher looks at both sets of tickets and tells Mr. East Coast that he is in the wrong section. Everyone around cheers, then Mr. pasty white east coast guy flips the double bird to everyone in the stands, classy guy giving the finger to everyone around while his dad stands there holding his drinks. His father looks embarrassed and they finally move over to a section where they sit down. Is it over, hardly?
A couple innings later this idiot has now moved down a few rows and sits in someone else’s seat. When this family comes to sit in their 4 seats Mr. East Coast is belligerent and tells them that they are ion the wrong section and that these are his seats. F bombs fly out of his mouth and finally security comes down and hauls this guy out. While he is being escorted up the aisle everyone claps and of course here comes the double bird again from Mr. East Coast. Everyone starts to cheer and his poor father slowly stands up and begins to head up after his son who has clearly embarrassed him again.
I watched grown men with notebooks full of baseball cards hound players for a signature. Most of these guys wanted the players to sign 5 or 6 cards for “My Family”. Each and every single player refused to sign more than 1 card and then some of these “adults” called the players “DICK” and “ASSHOLE” after getting their card signed.
I met a players agent at the Brewers vs. Rangers game and I talked to him about the behind the scenes stuff, paydays, insurance, contracts, travel arrangements, minor league stuff and learned a shitload of stuff about things I never knew. I met the sister of a wife of a major league player and while she proceeded to get sloppily drunk and the she asked me,
"Are you anybody that's important, you know you look important",
(I guess that's a compliment right?)
While being cute and someone to talk to, she did drink 8 beers in 2 innings and that was a real warning sign to stay away. Eventually she staggered up the stairs and she threw up on the walkway BEFORE she got to the restroom.
I got some sun but wore a hat and never got burned, I never got drunk and I only got lost once and only once, when I was detoured thought the ABC Extreme Makeover Home Edition House traffic jam on Monday Morning, (that was on TV Sunday Night about the little girl with cancer)
The drive is so easy, 6 hours is a trip to Vegas, (without the gambling), and everybody was friendly and nice. I felt a lot of anger, frustration and stupid stuff go away while I was away, and it's a real shame that 1 day back on the job and a lot of that stuff is back.
The ego trips and the lying and the “I’m more important than you are” BS is crushing to return to. Too much stupid stuff at work is absolutely killing me. I should feel better when I get back from a vacation, I should not feel this worn down after 1-day back.
I saw little kids sing the national anthem as well as a group of 75 years old ladies and heard a tape of a choir sing it as well. The park would become extremely quiet and EVERYBODY took off their hats and most of sang along. I was in a stadium with as few as 2700 people and again with over 12, 000 packed in. I saw big stars, Vlad Guerrero, Todd Helton, Ben Sheets, Sean Green, Adrian Beltrae, etc and saw future stars like Ian Kinsler and Macier Izturis.
While at the Angel game on Monday afternoon I watched a stupid fan from NY or NJ act like an ass. He was pasty white in color and wearing a NY Yankee hat and about 40 years old. He brought his elderly father to the game and headed down the aisle past me. He then proceeded to berate a couple of guys that he claimed were sitting in his seats. He threatened “I will beat the living shit out you if don’t fooking move right now”. That’s right “fooking” not fuck, but the long drawn out version only available from an east coast idiot.
The two guys just sat there in their seats and said, “Hey dude, these are our seats your in the wrong section.” The knucklehead from back east went on and on with the “Foook You” Then he pulls the “Do you know who I am” card. Yep, “Do you know who I am? Who freakin cares who you are. Finally the usher who is older than dirt comes down to see what the commotion is; the usher looks at both sets of tickets and tells Mr. East Coast that he is in the wrong section. Everyone around cheers, then Mr. pasty white east coast guy flips the double bird to everyone in the stands, classy guy giving the finger to everyone around while his dad stands there holding his drinks. His father looks embarrassed and they finally move over to a section where they sit down. Is it over, hardly?
A couple innings later this idiot has now moved down a few rows and sits in someone else’s seat. When this family comes to sit in their 4 seats Mr. East Coast is belligerent and tells them that they are ion the wrong section and that these are his seats. F bombs fly out of his mouth and finally security comes down and hauls this guy out. While he is being escorted up the aisle everyone claps and of course here comes the double bird again from Mr. East Coast. Everyone starts to cheer and his poor father slowly stands up and begins to head up after his son who has clearly embarrassed him again.
I watched grown men with notebooks full of baseball cards hound players for a signature. Most of these guys wanted the players to sign 5 or 6 cards for “My Family”. Each and every single player refused to sign more than 1 card and then some of these “adults” called the players “DICK” and “ASSHOLE” after getting their card signed.
I met a players agent at the Brewers vs. Rangers game and I talked to him about the behind the scenes stuff, paydays, insurance, contracts, travel arrangements, minor league stuff and learned a shitload of stuff about things I never knew. I met the sister of a wife of a major league player and while she proceeded to get sloppily drunk and the she asked me,
"Are you anybody that's important, you know you look important",
(I guess that's a compliment right?)
While being cute and someone to talk to, she did drink 8 beers in 2 innings and that was a real warning sign to stay away. Eventually she staggered up the stairs and she threw up on the walkway BEFORE she got to the restroom.
I got some sun but wore a hat and never got burned, I never got drunk and I only got lost once and only once, when I was detoured thought the ABC Extreme Makeover Home Edition House traffic jam on Monday Morning, (that was on TV Sunday Night about the little girl with cancer)
The drive is so easy, 6 hours is a trip to Vegas, (without the gambling), and everybody was friendly and nice. I felt a lot of anger, frustration and stupid stuff go away while I was away, and it's a real shame that 1 day back on the job and a lot of that stuff is back.
The ego trips and the lying and the “I’m more important than you are” BS is crushing to return to. Too much stupid stuff at work is absolutely killing me. I should feel better when I get back from a vacation, I should not feel this worn down after 1-day back.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Vacation
I am going on vacation next week and I am working like a dog this week so that I can go. I am amazed that once my vacation shows up on the company calendar massive amounts of work flow to my inbox. I am suddenly needed to check documents, visit managers, solve aal of major crisis' among feuding employees and re-schedule court dates. If I am lucky I will work only 60-70 hours this week, so that I can take a vacation for a week so that I can return to the disaster that my desk, my inbox, my voicemail, my e-mail, my regular mail box and my 2 company mail boxes. Ahh the joys of going on vacation,
I will be in Phoenix AZ watching Cactus League spring training baseball and getting a tan. Maybe pictures from vacation on the blog, just what everyone wants to see.
Have fun
I will be in Phoenix AZ watching Cactus League spring training baseball and getting a tan. Maybe pictures from vacation on the blog, just what everyone wants to see.
Have fun
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Tough Week
It has been a tough week. A "Random" audit by the Dept of Labor in my company that caused me to work 65 hours last week. The utter loneliness of a dateless Valentines Day and the request by the Dept. of Labor that I produce even more payroll records for the company that I work at will make this week a 50 hour+ work week. To top it off I have to work on F&*^%ing Monday instead of taking Presidents Day off as a holiday.
No thanks from my company for dealing with the DOL and all of their paperwork and BS.
No thanks from my company for dealing with the DOL and all of their paperwork and BS.
If I had much hair left I would have pulled it out by now.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Super Bowl
Well my pick is tah dah The Patriots.
I see the game close at the end of first half and slowly The Patriots will pull away with a mad dash at the end by The Eagles to bring it close.
Go Patriots.
I see the game close at the end of first half and slowly The Patriots will pull away with a mad dash at the end by The Eagles to bring it close.
Go Patriots.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Dating
It has been brought to my attention that I go on lots of dates. I am not sure that is correct. I lived with my first wife for 5 years before marrying her. The marriage lasted 7 years and then I spent 3 or 4 years out and about. I then met the most wonderful women I had ever met and whom I thought was my soul mate and that relationship lasted about 10 years. Since then I have dated 5 or 6 very different women in the last 2 years and only 1 seemed promising but she was more like my first wife, wanting more than she had and disappointed with her current state.
I met her at the supermarket where she worked and she was probably too young for me. She wanted to be richer; she wanted to be thinner, (she weighed 100 lbs. and constantly referred to herself as FAT), she wanted a better apt. she wanted a better car; she wanted a better job, etc. She also made sure that I knew that she was not happy with my car, my job, my apt, etc as well. When push came to shove I explained that I had already done this in my life and was not interested in the whole better car, better house, spend money like it does not matter to buy a better something that you already own. I hate the thought of going to a restaurant night after night with brand new clothes each time to just “SHOW OFF” I spent lots of money in my first marriage to purchase better items like, cars, TV’s, dishes, clothes, furniture etc to replace the same things with “better quality” items. I could see that this happening over again and wanted no part of it. Don’t get me wrong she was beautiful, funny, and probably too young for me but way too insecure with what she has. Dreams and desire for your future are important but not in this manner.
Another date just could not be on time. I know I am a stickler and probably a little anal about being on time but this lady was just too, too F#$%ing late. Truthfully she was inconsiderate and could not figure out that her inability to look at watch created problems for us. We dated for about 3 months and everything seemed to be going pretty well. Then it started, o our last 3 dates she was not ready for the date 2 hours after she said “Come pick me up at 6:00 pm and I would arrive at 10 minutes to 6 and then I sat around for 2 hours at her place waiting for her to get ready. I don’t like waiting and I mean I don’t like waiting; it brings out the devil in me. She would talk on the telephone to friends while getting ready and she would yell at me from behind the door to have a conversation. Yes, she was apologetic and she definitely showed her appreciation to me later but when I asked if she could either be ready at 6 or have me arrive at 8 either way was fine with me she flipped out and gave me the “You don’t think I am worth the wait.” When I explained that sitting around her apt. for 2 hours each time we went out wasn’t my idea of a good time. I explained that I would be more than happy to show up at anytime but it would be nice if she was ready when she said she would be ready. Well I obviously said the wrong thing, (truthfully she was not worth the wait) and she told me to leave and I did, never to return.
I do remember a few dates from way back. Some were great, some were good and some were horrible. I remember that right before I met the love of my life I dated a gorgeous woman that I took to an LA Raider game 13 or 14 years ago. I had a ½ share of season tickets when the Raiders played at the Coliseum. It was a bright Sunday afternoon when we arrived and we parked completely on the opposite side from our seats when we entered the stadium. After showing our tickets at the entrance we started to go around the walkway to our seats. The very first stand we came to had a wine stand next to the beer stand. She wanted a glass (cup) of wine so I got a beer and she got wine. We proceed to walk half way around the Coliseum to our seats when she decides that she wants another glass of wine. Back I go to the only wine stand at the Coliseum 10 minutes later I return with her 2-nd glass of wine. Near the end of first half she wants 3rd glass. I had no problem with this thinking she will get a little liquored up and we will have a great time after the game.
Long story short she had 6 glasses of wine at the football game and I spent the majority of the game walking to, waiting in line, walking back just to get her all of this wine. She passed out in the truck on the way home and when we got back to her apt she spent the next hour puking up wine. She vomited all over the floor of her kitchen and she puked in her kitchen sink before she could get to the bathroom. That was our last date ever. Thank God.
Before Raider wine girl I dated a girl Vikki. (With an I, no E) that’s how she introduced herself “Hi I am Vikki with an I, no E” who I took to Las Vegas for an enjoyable weekend. My first relationship since my divorce, (relationship is a strong word here a few dates and a trip to Vegas) This trip was wonderful until I uttered the name of my ex-wife instead of her name while in bed at the precise moment a young lady wants to here you moan, breathe, utter, scream her name. Within a half hour we were checked out of the hotel and back on the road to Ventura. There was not one word spoken between us all the way back to Ventura from Vegas.
Some of my dates have included:
Meet the ex (that’s the surprise meeting’s with the ex-husband),
The no babysitter at the last moment, “we have to take the baby if you want to go out.”
The ”we can’t go out because I am still working”, (I ended up hating this chick)
The “Spender” that is the date that orders the most expensive item on the menu and takes 1 or 2 bites TOTAL and then shakes your hand at the door. (She did this twice before I took her someplace “less expensive” and then she mentioned that she didn’t like the food at that restaurant.)
The “I didn’t know I was supposed to call you back after I got your message to call you”
Besides being an airhead this gal ended up getting pregnant right after we dated by her ex-husband. Whew that was a close one!
I really appreciated that one gal named Maria that would not let me take her out unless I also took out her best friend “Denise”. Hey, I am an open and ok guy and I will take out two ladies no problem. Unfortunately she wanted each every date to include her best friend. At first I thought all right two women yeah hooo hoooo. Nope wrong assumption; I was just the wallet for the two of them to get out and enjoy a nice meal while not sitting at home. When she called me to ask if we could go out again I asked her if “we” meant her and I or all three of us? I explained that it was getting expensive taking her and her friend out for dinner and drinks. Her response was, ”If you want to go out with me you know that Denise has to come along too!” In closing, the argument went along the lines of what I wanted versus what she wanted and then she got very upset when I mentioned that after 4 or 5 dates with her and her best friend it was time to stop going out or go out as just a couple and for her to make the decision. She responded with the ever popular, “You’re a dick” and hung up. Being the DICK that I am, later that week I called her best friend Denise and asked her out. We went out just the two of us and I had a great time.
I dated this girl recently that after the first date decided (without asking me) that we were going to live together. It is kind of creepy to open your door at 10:00 pm to find the girl you met on a blind date two nights before is at your door with a big bag of clothes looking for a place to stay for “ just a couple of nights”
Jesus this has to get easier you know but what the hell other than the expense of frequent dinners for dates and their best friends, it really has been fun.
I met her at the supermarket where she worked and she was probably too young for me. She wanted to be richer; she wanted to be thinner, (she weighed 100 lbs. and constantly referred to herself as FAT), she wanted a better apt. she wanted a better car; she wanted a better job, etc. She also made sure that I knew that she was not happy with my car, my job, my apt, etc as well. When push came to shove I explained that I had already done this in my life and was not interested in the whole better car, better house, spend money like it does not matter to buy a better something that you already own. I hate the thought of going to a restaurant night after night with brand new clothes each time to just “SHOW OFF” I spent lots of money in my first marriage to purchase better items like, cars, TV’s, dishes, clothes, furniture etc to replace the same things with “better quality” items. I could see that this happening over again and wanted no part of it. Don’t get me wrong she was beautiful, funny, and probably too young for me but way too insecure with what she has. Dreams and desire for your future are important but not in this manner.
Another date just could not be on time. I know I am a stickler and probably a little anal about being on time but this lady was just too, too F#$%ing late. Truthfully she was inconsiderate and could not figure out that her inability to look at watch created problems for us. We dated for about 3 months and everything seemed to be going pretty well. Then it started, o our last 3 dates she was not ready for the date 2 hours after she said “Come pick me up at 6:00 pm and I would arrive at 10 minutes to 6 and then I sat around for 2 hours at her place waiting for her to get ready. I don’t like waiting and I mean I don’t like waiting; it brings out the devil in me. She would talk on the telephone to friends while getting ready and she would yell at me from behind the door to have a conversation. Yes, she was apologetic and she definitely showed her appreciation to me later but when I asked if she could either be ready at 6 or have me arrive at 8 either way was fine with me she flipped out and gave me the “You don’t think I am worth the wait.” When I explained that sitting around her apt. for 2 hours each time we went out wasn’t my idea of a good time. I explained that I would be more than happy to show up at anytime but it would be nice if she was ready when she said she would be ready. Well I obviously said the wrong thing, (truthfully she was not worth the wait) and she told me to leave and I did, never to return.
I do remember a few dates from way back. Some were great, some were good and some were horrible. I remember that right before I met the love of my life I dated a gorgeous woman that I took to an LA Raider game 13 or 14 years ago. I had a ½ share of season tickets when the Raiders played at the Coliseum. It was a bright Sunday afternoon when we arrived and we parked completely on the opposite side from our seats when we entered the stadium. After showing our tickets at the entrance we started to go around the walkway to our seats. The very first stand we came to had a wine stand next to the beer stand. She wanted a glass (cup) of wine so I got a beer and she got wine. We proceed to walk half way around the Coliseum to our seats when she decides that she wants another glass of wine. Back I go to the only wine stand at the Coliseum 10 minutes later I return with her 2-nd glass of wine. Near the end of first half she wants 3rd glass. I had no problem with this thinking she will get a little liquored up and we will have a great time after the game.
Long story short she had 6 glasses of wine at the football game and I spent the majority of the game walking to, waiting in line, walking back just to get her all of this wine. She passed out in the truck on the way home and when we got back to her apt she spent the next hour puking up wine. She vomited all over the floor of her kitchen and she puked in her kitchen sink before she could get to the bathroom. That was our last date ever. Thank God.
Before Raider wine girl I dated a girl Vikki. (With an I, no E) that’s how she introduced herself “Hi I am Vikki with an I, no E” who I took to Las Vegas for an enjoyable weekend. My first relationship since my divorce, (relationship is a strong word here a few dates and a trip to Vegas) This trip was wonderful until I uttered the name of my ex-wife instead of her name while in bed at the precise moment a young lady wants to here you moan, breathe, utter, scream her name. Within a half hour we were checked out of the hotel and back on the road to Ventura. There was not one word spoken between us all the way back to Ventura from Vegas.
Some of my dates have included:
Meet the ex (that’s the surprise meeting’s with the ex-husband),
The no babysitter at the last moment, “we have to take the baby if you want to go out.”
The ”we can’t go out because I am still working”, (I ended up hating this chick)
The “Spender” that is the date that orders the most expensive item on the menu and takes 1 or 2 bites TOTAL and then shakes your hand at the door. (She did this twice before I took her someplace “less expensive” and then she mentioned that she didn’t like the food at that restaurant.)
The “I didn’t know I was supposed to call you back after I got your message to call you”
Besides being an airhead this gal ended up getting pregnant right after we dated by her ex-husband. Whew that was a close one!
I really appreciated that one gal named Maria that would not let me take her out unless I also took out her best friend “Denise”. Hey, I am an open and ok guy and I will take out two ladies no problem. Unfortunately she wanted each every date to include her best friend. At first I thought all right two women yeah hooo hoooo. Nope wrong assumption; I was just the wallet for the two of them to get out and enjoy a nice meal while not sitting at home. When she called me to ask if we could go out again I asked her if “we” meant her and I or all three of us? I explained that it was getting expensive taking her and her friend out for dinner and drinks. Her response was, ”If you want to go out with me you know that Denise has to come along too!” In closing, the argument went along the lines of what I wanted versus what she wanted and then she got very upset when I mentioned that after 4 or 5 dates with her and her best friend it was time to stop going out or go out as just a couple and for her to make the decision. She responded with the ever popular, “You’re a dick” and hung up. Being the DICK that I am, later that week I called her best friend Denise and asked her out. We went out just the two of us and I had a great time.
I dated this girl recently that after the first date decided (without asking me) that we were going to live together. It is kind of creepy to open your door at 10:00 pm to find the girl you met on a blind date two nights before is at your door with a big bag of clothes looking for a place to stay for “ just a couple of nights”
Jesus this has to get easier you know but what the hell other than the expense of frequent dinners for dates and their best friends, it really has been fun.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Why is it?
Why is it that everyone can always tell the exact moment in time when they fell out of love but can anyone tell the exact moment when they fell in love?
Friday, January 21, 2005
This Weekend
The weekend is upon us and I have a date that hopefully will go well. It seems I am in that continuous dating stage, (No complaints from me), having multiple dates with different women is not a bad thing, and really it isn’t. For a long time I had very few friends if any and a few acquaintances. I never really hung out with friends or kept friends for very long. When I divorced most “friends” went with the ex. Easy to understand but I moved on and made new friends. These new friends were in LA and when I moved back here other than an email or a Christmas Birthday Card we just lost touch.
Most of the people that I am friends with I also work with and honestly it is just to damn hard to date some one you work with. Someone in the relationship wants to know more about the “company” than they know and one way or another work gets in the way. One of the two knows more and uses it to get what they want or holds it over the other to gain an advantage. “Sex, Secrets and Lies” I have been there. Take it from me dating coworkers may feel easy at first but it is definitely not the way to go. Co-workers always ask inappropriate questions and assumptions are made that just make everything harder.
I look forward to these new dates not in a way maybe I want or should. I don’t see a long future in any of these women but just an opportunity to meet someone. It is nice to have a glass of wine and intelligent conversation Hey don’t get me wrong a little physical contact is a good thing, (OK it really is a great thing) but right now it isn’t the only thing.
Unlike the past I like to listen to someone else talk about themselves. I have become curious about someone anyone other than myself. I am curious as to how they got to this point in their lives and where they want to go next.
Tonight will be dinner and walk in downtown Ventura and who knows maybe we will hold hands.
Most of the people that I am friends with I also work with and honestly it is just to damn hard to date some one you work with. Someone in the relationship wants to know more about the “company” than they know and one way or another work gets in the way. One of the two knows more and uses it to get what they want or holds it over the other to gain an advantage. “Sex, Secrets and Lies” I have been there. Take it from me dating coworkers may feel easy at first but it is definitely not the way to go. Co-workers always ask inappropriate questions and assumptions are made that just make everything harder.
I look forward to these new dates not in a way maybe I want or should. I don’t see a long future in any of these women but just an opportunity to meet someone. It is nice to have a glass of wine and intelligent conversation Hey don’t get me wrong a little physical contact is a good thing, (OK it really is a great thing) but right now it isn’t the only thing.
Unlike the past I like to listen to someone else talk about themselves. I have become curious about someone anyone other than myself. I am curious as to how they got to this point in their lives and where they want to go next.
Tonight will be dinner and walk in downtown Ventura and who knows maybe we will hold hands.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
What is the world coming to? Karma will get you every time and you get what you deserve and for every action there is a re-action Blah blah blah.
I am not surprised anymore. I have seen repeated articles in the news about people in South East Asia and eastern Africa not eating fish anymore. They are refusing to eat fish because TAH DAH the fish may have eaten bodies that were pulled out to sea from the Tsunami. Bodies that floated out and quickly decomposed into fish food have caused a great stir in Sri Lanka, Indonesia and India. They are extremely worried that if they eat fish that has eaten human remains they will be considered cannibals. Most of these places really survive on seafood.
Now for thousands of years we humans have been eating fish with only a few instances of fish eating us, (Jaws, the sinking of the USS Indianapolis, etc) and now they are getting their revenge on us.
I am not surprised anymore. I have seen repeated articles in the news about people in South East Asia and eastern Africa not eating fish anymore. They are refusing to eat fish because TAH DAH the fish may have eaten bodies that were pulled out to sea from the Tsunami. Bodies that floated out and quickly decomposed into fish food have caused a great stir in Sri Lanka, Indonesia and India. They are extremely worried that if they eat fish that has eaten human remains they will be considered cannibals. Most of these places really survive on seafood.
Now for thousands of years we humans have been eating fish with only a few instances of fish eating us, (Jaws, the sinking of the USS Indianapolis, etc) and now they are getting their revenge on us.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Thursday, January 13, 2005
My Football Picks
My picks for the NFL playoffs are as follows:
Atlanta over St. Louis
Indy over New England
Pittsburgh over NY (barley over the Jets)
Philly over Minn.
I know, I know the family is from New England and I'll catch a bunch of shit for picking the Colts, but Indy is set this year and the Pats are injured so lets see what happens on Sunday.
Atlanta over St. Louis
Indy over New England
Pittsburgh over NY (barley over the Jets)
Philly over Minn.
I know, I know the family is from New England and I'll catch a bunch of shit for picking the Colts, but Indy is set this year and the Pats are injured so lets see what happens on Sunday.
Friday, January 07, 2005
My nephew
The picture below is of my nephew Sgt. Traver Penell USMC. He is recieving a cake from one of my other nephews class on Friday January 7th, 2005. My nephew Conner and his classmates wrote letters for Traver and his squad while they were in Iraq. Traver and his squad helped clean out Fallouja. Traver IS an American hero.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
What was that?
Ok I am not the musical genius of the world and I know that I can not sing, but what happened with Ashlee Simpson at the Orange Bowl on Tuesday Night? My god she sucks. Her dad who you know manages both his daughters needs top go back to being a preacher. He needs a lot more talks with the lord about Ashlee because it worked for daughter number 1 Jessica. Maybe he made a pact with the devil for Jessica and it is coming back to haunt Ashlee.
How were we to know that out of all of the Simpsons that were going to make a scene in Florida Tuesday Night it wasn't OJ that made the crowd take notice.
How bad do you have to be to get booed at a football game? My god the least she could have done was give us the boob, I mean Janet Jackson gave us the boob and she could sing.
Lets go back to the marching bands and the cheerleaders from now on.
How were we to know that out of all of the Simpsons that were going to make a scene in Florida Tuesday Night it wasn't OJ that made the crowd take notice.
How bad do you have to be to get booed at a football game? My god the least she could have done was give us the boob, I mean Janet Jackson gave us the boob and she could sing.
Lets go back to the marching bands and the cheerleaders from now on.
Monday, January 03, 2005
The night that almost never happened!
New Years Eve is the night most people look forward to or dread. Do you have a date; is there a party you will go to? Are you dateless and will you watch Dick Clark or will you just go to bed early?
Surprise, surprise I had a date yep a real date not a make believe date. We had reservations for a nice restaurant but we had to be there no later than 7:00 pm. If we arrived later we would loose our reservations and then have to wait in line to get a table and we would not be able to stay for the party.
I made sure that she new that we had to be at the restaurant before 7:00 pm. I tell her that “I’ll pick you up at 6:00 pm,” she says “I’ll be off at 4:30 pm” She calls at 5:00 she is still working but will be home at 6:00 pm. “It won’t take me long to get ready, I promise”
I have never believed that line in my life. “It won’t take me long to get ready” means to most women 1 to 1and a 1/2 hours or more. To me as a guy it means 20 minutes. I arrive at 6:15 pm at her place; she’s not there. She calls at 6:30 pm she will be home in 5 minutes. She arrives we go inside I head for the couch, loosen my tie and wait. We leave at 7:15 pm from her house and head to the restaurant. We are running late and I’m pissed and she’s looking tired. She complains that she took 5 extra clients, (she’s a hairdresser) she charged double and they all paid it plus generous tips.
I understand but I was still pissed off, (I don’t take waiting or being late very well). We get to the restaurant and as expected lost our reservations and have an hour wait for a crappy table with no view. We decided to grab dinner at Yolanda’s, not very romantic but the food is good.
Long story short, she did work all day and she was extremely tired and began yawning during dinner. Being the nice guy I asked if she would just like to blow off the night and go back to my house or hers. She decided that the best thing to do was to just drop her off at home and she said she would make it up to me at a later date. Damn, another night alone oh well what are you going to do? I drop her off and head home. I get to the apartment and figured since I was awake and it was early I might as well do a quick load of laundry. I get a load of towels together and head for the laundry room.
I get a tap on my shoulder and a young lady asked if I was really doing laundry on New Years Eve? Would I like to come to a party at her Apt? Sure what the hell else do I have to do tonight? I ask if need to bring anything “Wine” she says “2 bottles” No problem be at my place at 9:30 or 10:00 pm she tells me the apt number and leaves. I jet to the liquor store return finish my laundry and head on over 2 bottles of Chardonnay. A couple of weeks ago I gave this young lady 4 quarters for a dollar bill so she could finish her laundry and now I get invited to her party woo hoo!
I am the last to arrive at her place when I walked in there were 10 people 6 gals and 4 guys. Everyone was single, two of us were divorced, and one guy had a child that didn’t live with him. Two of the ladies shared an apt, but everyone else was in a single room apt. Not a bad group, the girls were 29 to 38 yrs old. The guys were 31 to 43 yrs old. White, Asian, Hispanic. There was lots of booze, wine, beer and some hard stuff. The food was, well potato chips, crackers and cheese. The host of the party was a young lady named Donna. She had more personality and ideas than anyone I have met in years. Bright, bubbly, cute and she obviously knew how to use her looks and personality to get what ever she wanted. She should get on the show “Apprentice”; Donald Trump would not give her the “YOUR FIRED”. Tonight she wanted all of her guests to get acquainted.
She decided that we were all going to have to talk about ourselves, without being specific. I am not into party games or charades but what the hell, I don’t really know these people and I could have a few drinks and then split. We proceeded to go around the room and make a statement or two about ourselves. When everyone was finished talking everyone else got to ask each other a question, kind of like “What’s my line” We turned out to be a Nurse, engineer, auto mechanic, secretary, teacher, student, salesperson, cable installer, office manger and HR Manager. Almost like the movie The Breakfast Club Not bad we laughed and joked and had a real good time. Usually this is when I would head for the exit. Find an excuse and just disappear, but before I could find an excuse our host decided it was time for the fun to start.
Donna decided we were going to play an adult scavenger hunt but with a twist. She decided that we would have to go to each of our apt to get what she decided and bring it back and we would go around the room and then in something reminiscent of “Show and Tell” we would present our items. Everyone would get a grade and the winner would get a prize at the end of the night.
“F*&%” I don’t play party games; I mean I really don’t like this stuff. A couple of us begged off but she insisted with a big smile and the kind of look a lot of men have fallen for. How easy a pretty woman can sway me.
The rules were that you had 5 minutes to get what was requested. When everyone came back you to talk about your item and then you would get a grade. If you came back empty handed you got zero points. If you took 7 minutes or more you would loose points and everyone had to take a drink before they took off for their apt. Almost everyone was drinking wine so a sip or two of wine every few minutes would be great. It rained hard most of the day on Friday but it was just sprinkling outside so it was actually pretty easy to go back and forth from her apt to my apt and back.
Her first request was for a baby picture. I took off for my place got my picture and returned. Show and tell began with a couple of naked baby pictures and lots of laughs. The next item was to get was your worst Christmas Gift from this year. One girl got some underwear from her mom that was a size 12. This girl was an easy size 2. She was a little pissed off at her mom. Some one actually got a Chia Pet as a gift and I brought a t-shirt that I got from brother-in- law.
Next came your worst piece of clothing you own, a few of the ladies had some of the most hideous bridesmaids dresses imaginable. One guy had a new Members Only Jacket, Wow!
The following tasks came next:
Bring your yearbook from High School.
The one item in your pantry you have that you won’t eat.
The last book you read, the last CD you bought and the worst movie you own.
The last gift you got from your most recent girlfriend/boyfriend, (3 people were emptied handed, one girl had a huge engagement ring)
Bring your favorite shoes, (must be a girl thing).
Bring your cologne/ perfume for everyone to smell. (I won this)
Bring an article of clothing that your last date left at your apt. (All of the guys lost this one, none of us had anything to bring!)
Best and worst Tatoo, (I lost this one) but I liked the rose in a real personal spot on on gal, Jesus it must have hurt A LOT to get a tatoo in between your thighs, now what I mean.
We all got ten minutes to go onto our computers and bring back our most recent e-mail, even it was Spam or personal print it out and bring it back. Out 10 of us 6 had spam, 3 for prescription drugs, 1 for a real estate loan, 1 for the good old penis enlargement, and the last was for fake watches. My e-mail won it was a customer complaint for my business.
Since everyone was single it was actually fun and before midnight everyone was feeling real good. We watched the ball drop and we all had a drink and then a quick kiss between the girls and guys.
Then it was decided that we would all take a tour of each other’s apt. One of the guys, Jesus jumped up and said he needed to clean his apt before any one came over. “No dice we are going to yours first” every yelled and off we went. Needless to say he was embarrassed with lots of dirty dishes in the sink, bathroom a mess. He was voted “worst bathroom” and “worst kitchen.”
I was voted “cleanest kitchen”, “most organized”, “emptiest fridge” and “best porch” (I was the only one with a BBQ)
There was “best picture on the wall” given out to the gal that had a naked picture of herself hanging up in her bedroom.
The “bedroom you want to do it in.” given to a different gal that had a lot of candles, maybe 100 candles or more and few adult toys, devices and a huge collection of porn, quite kinky.
“Worst collection” was given to the young lady that had a collection of plastic, clay, metal, pewter whatever SNAKES Very freaky. The youngest gal had 20 or 30 stuffed animals on her bed and she had names for each and every single one, she was the runner up.
“Worst furniture” went to the guy with the bricks and board TV organizer. He had a wooden lawn chair in his living room, as this was his only piece of living room furniture besides the college dorm room TV stand. He got “Most in need of Queer Eye for a Straight Guy” makeover”
“Worst lamp” to the guy with the huge parrot from Mexico that he converted into a table top lamp. One gal had a great couch and a wonderful recliner but no tables, no other chairs and a real small desk lamp. She got “Best Couch and Chair in the Dark”
“Best fridge” to the guy with a couple of boxes of tamales from his mom, he passed some out to all of us.
We all went back to Donna’s had a laugh, exchanged e-mail address’, cell phones and business cards. We decided to try to keep in touch and vowed to meet again. The party broke up around 1:30am. That was the latest I had been up in years and I did have a few (5) glasses of wine but I felt great. I went home alone but I definitely didn’t feel lonely.
New Years Eve is the night most people look forward to or dread. Do you have a date; is there a party you will go to? Are you dateless and will you watch Dick Clark or will you just go to bed early?
Surprise, surprise I had a date yep a real date not a make believe date. We had reservations for a nice restaurant but we had to be there no later than 7:00 pm. If we arrived later we would loose our reservations and then have to wait in line to get a table and we would not be able to stay for the party.
I made sure that she new that we had to be at the restaurant before 7:00 pm. I tell her that “I’ll pick you up at 6:00 pm,” she says “I’ll be off at 4:30 pm” She calls at 5:00 she is still working but will be home at 6:00 pm. “It won’t take me long to get ready, I promise”
I have never believed that line in my life. “It won’t take me long to get ready” means to most women 1 to 1and a 1/2 hours or more. To me as a guy it means 20 minutes. I arrive at 6:15 pm at her place; she’s not there. She calls at 6:30 pm she will be home in 5 minutes. She arrives we go inside I head for the couch, loosen my tie and wait. We leave at 7:15 pm from her house and head to the restaurant. We are running late and I’m pissed and she’s looking tired. She complains that she took 5 extra clients, (she’s a hairdresser) she charged double and they all paid it plus generous tips.
I understand but I was still pissed off, (I don’t take waiting or being late very well). We get to the restaurant and as expected lost our reservations and have an hour wait for a crappy table with no view. We decided to grab dinner at Yolanda’s, not very romantic but the food is good.
Long story short, she did work all day and she was extremely tired and began yawning during dinner. Being the nice guy I asked if she would just like to blow off the night and go back to my house or hers. She decided that the best thing to do was to just drop her off at home and she said she would make it up to me at a later date. Damn, another night alone oh well what are you going to do? I drop her off and head home. I get to the apartment and figured since I was awake and it was early I might as well do a quick load of laundry. I get a load of towels together and head for the laundry room.
I get a tap on my shoulder and a young lady asked if I was really doing laundry on New Years Eve? Would I like to come to a party at her Apt? Sure what the hell else do I have to do tonight? I ask if need to bring anything “Wine” she says “2 bottles” No problem be at my place at 9:30 or 10:00 pm she tells me the apt number and leaves. I jet to the liquor store return finish my laundry and head on over 2 bottles of Chardonnay. A couple of weeks ago I gave this young lady 4 quarters for a dollar bill so she could finish her laundry and now I get invited to her party woo hoo!
I am the last to arrive at her place when I walked in there were 10 people 6 gals and 4 guys. Everyone was single, two of us were divorced, and one guy had a child that didn’t live with him. Two of the ladies shared an apt, but everyone else was in a single room apt. Not a bad group, the girls were 29 to 38 yrs old. The guys were 31 to 43 yrs old. White, Asian, Hispanic. There was lots of booze, wine, beer and some hard stuff. The food was, well potato chips, crackers and cheese. The host of the party was a young lady named Donna. She had more personality and ideas than anyone I have met in years. Bright, bubbly, cute and she obviously knew how to use her looks and personality to get what ever she wanted. She should get on the show “Apprentice”; Donald Trump would not give her the “YOUR FIRED”. Tonight she wanted all of her guests to get acquainted.
She decided that we were all going to have to talk about ourselves, without being specific. I am not into party games or charades but what the hell, I don’t really know these people and I could have a few drinks and then split. We proceeded to go around the room and make a statement or two about ourselves. When everyone was finished talking everyone else got to ask each other a question, kind of like “What’s my line” We turned out to be a Nurse, engineer, auto mechanic, secretary, teacher, student, salesperson, cable installer, office manger and HR Manager. Almost like the movie The Breakfast Club Not bad we laughed and joked and had a real good time. Usually this is when I would head for the exit. Find an excuse and just disappear, but before I could find an excuse our host decided it was time for the fun to start.
Donna decided we were going to play an adult scavenger hunt but with a twist. She decided that we would have to go to each of our apt to get what she decided and bring it back and we would go around the room and then in something reminiscent of “Show and Tell” we would present our items. Everyone would get a grade and the winner would get a prize at the end of the night.
“F*&%” I don’t play party games; I mean I really don’t like this stuff. A couple of us begged off but she insisted with a big smile and the kind of look a lot of men have fallen for. How easy a pretty woman can sway me.
The rules were that you had 5 minutes to get what was requested. When everyone came back you to talk about your item and then you would get a grade. If you came back empty handed you got zero points. If you took 7 minutes or more you would loose points and everyone had to take a drink before they took off for their apt. Almost everyone was drinking wine so a sip or two of wine every few minutes would be great. It rained hard most of the day on Friday but it was just sprinkling outside so it was actually pretty easy to go back and forth from her apt to my apt and back.
Her first request was for a baby picture. I took off for my place got my picture and returned. Show and tell began with a couple of naked baby pictures and lots of laughs. The next item was to get was your worst Christmas Gift from this year. One girl got some underwear from her mom that was a size 12. This girl was an easy size 2. She was a little pissed off at her mom. Some one actually got a Chia Pet as a gift and I brought a t-shirt that I got from brother-in- law.
Next came your worst piece of clothing you own, a few of the ladies had some of the most hideous bridesmaids dresses imaginable. One guy had a new Members Only Jacket, Wow!
The following tasks came next:
Bring your yearbook from High School.
The one item in your pantry you have that you won’t eat.
The last book you read, the last CD you bought and the worst movie you own.
The last gift you got from your most recent girlfriend/boyfriend, (3 people were emptied handed, one girl had a huge engagement ring)
Bring your favorite shoes, (must be a girl thing).
Bring your cologne/ perfume for everyone to smell. (I won this)
Bring an article of clothing that your last date left at your apt. (All of the guys lost this one, none of us had anything to bring!)
Best and worst Tatoo, (I lost this one) but I liked the rose in a real personal spot on on gal, Jesus it must have hurt A LOT to get a tatoo in between your thighs, now what I mean.
We all got ten minutes to go onto our computers and bring back our most recent e-mail, even it was Spam or personal print it out and bring it back. Out 10 of us 6 had spam, 3 for prescription drugs, 1 for a real estate loan, 1 for the good old penis enlargement, and the last was for fake watches. My e-mail won it was a customer complaint for my business.
Since everyone was single it was actually fun and before midnight everyone was feeling real good. We watched the ball drop and we all had a drink and then a quick kiss between the girls and guys.
Then it was decided that we would all take a tour of each other’s apt. One of the guys, Jesus jumped up and said he needed to clean his apt before any one came over. “No dice we are going to yours first” every yelled and off we went. Needless to say he was embarrassed with lots of dirty dishes in the sink, bathroom a mess. He was voted “worst bathroom” and “worst kitchen.”
I was voted “cleanest kitchen”, “most organized”, “emptiest fridge” and “best porch” (I was the only one with a BBQ)
There was “best picture on the wall” given out to the gal that had a naked picture of herself hanging up in her bedroom.
The “bedroom you want to do it in.” given to a different gal that had a lot of candles, maybe 100 candles or more and few adult toys, devices and a huge collection of porn, quite kinky.
“Worst collection” was given to the young lady that had a collection of plastic, clay, metal, pewter whatever SNAKES Very freaky. The youngest gal had 20 or 30 stuffed animals on her bed and she had names for each and every single one, she was the runner up.
“Worst furniture” went to the guy with the bricks and board TV organizer. He had a wooden lawn chair in his living room, as this was his only piece of living room furniture besides the college dorm room TV stand. He got “Most in need of Queer Eye for a Straight Guy” makeover”
“Worst lamp” to the guy with the huge parrot from Mexico that he converted into a table top lamp. One gal had a great couch and a wonderful recliner but no tables, no other chairs and a real small desk lamp. She got “Best Couch and Chair in the Dark”
“Best fridge” to the guy with a couple of boxes of tamales from his mom, he passed some out to all of us.
We all went back to Donna’s had a laugh, exchanged e-mail address’, cell phones and business cards. We decided to try to keep in touch and vowed to meet again. The party broke up around 1:30am. That was the latest I had been up in years and I did have a few (5) glasses of wine but I felt great. I went home alone but I definitely didn’t feel lonely.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
