The night that almost never happened!

New Years Eve is the night most people look forward to or dread. Do you have a date; is there a party you will go to? Are you dateless and will you watch Dick Clark or will you just go to bed early?

Surprise, surprise I had a date yep a real date not a make believe date. We had reservations for a nice restaurant but we had to be there no later than 7:00 pm. If we arrived later we would loose our reservations and then have to wait in line to get a table and we would not be able to stay for the party.

I made sure that she new that we had to be at the restaurant before 7:00 pm. I tell her that “I’ll pick you up at 6:00 pm,” she says “I’ll be off at 4:30 pm” She calls at 5:00 she is still working but will be home at 6:00 pm. “It won’t take me long to get ready, I promise”

I have never believed that line in my life. “It won’t take me long to get ready” means to most women 1 to 1and a 1/2 hours or more. To me as a guy it means 20 minutes. I arrive at 6:15 pm at her place; she’s not there. She calls at 6:30 pm she will be home in 5 minutes. She arrives we go inside I head for the couch, loosen my tie and wait. We leave at 7:15 pm from her house and head to the restaurant. We are running late and I’m pissed and she’s looking tired. She complains that she took 5 extra clients, (she’s a hairdresser) she charged double and they all paid it plus generous tips.


I understand but I was still pissed off, (I don’t take waiting or being late very well). We get to the restaurant and as expected lost our reservations and have an hour wait for a crappy table with no view. We decided to grab dinner at Yolanda’s, not very romantic but the food is good.

Long story short, she did work all day and she was extremely tired and began yawning during dinner. Being the nice guy I asked if she would just like to blow off the night and go back to my house or hers. She decided that the best thing to do was to just drop her off at home and she said she would make it up to me at a later date. Damn, another night alone oh well what are you going to do? I drop her off and head home. I get to the apartment and figured since I was awake and it was early I might as well do a quick load of laundry. I get a load of towels together and head for the laundry room.

I get a tap on my shoulder and a young lady asked if I was really doing laundry on New Years Eve? Would I like to come to a party at her Apt? Sure what the hell else do I have to do tonight? I ask if need to bring anything “Wine” she says “2 bottles” No problem be at my place at 9:30 or 10:00 pm she tells me the apt number and leaves. I jet to the liquor store return finish my laundry and head on over 2 bottles of Chardonnay. A couple of weeks ago I gave this young lady 4 quarters for a dollar bill so she could finish her laundry and now I get invited to her party woo hoo!

I am the last to arrive at her place when I walked in there were 10 people 6 gals and 4 guys. Everyone was single, two of us were divorced, and one guy had a child that didn’t live with him. Two of the ladies shared an apt, but everyone else was in a single room apt. Not a bad group, the girls were 29 to 38 yrs old. The guys were 31 to 43 yrs old. White, Asian, Hispanic. There was lots of booze, wine, beer and some hard stuff. The food was, well potato chips, crackers and cheese. The host of the party was a young lady named Donna. She had more personality and ideas than anyone I have met in years. Bright, bubbly, cute and she obviously knew how to use her looks and personality to get what ever she wanted. She should get on the show “Apprentice”; Donald Trump would not give her the “YOUR FIRED”. Tonight she wanted all of her guests to get acquainted.

She decided that we were all going to have to talk about ourselves, without being specific. I am not into party games or charades but what the hell, I don’t really know these people and I could have a few drinks and then split. We proceeded to go around the room and make a statement or two about ourselves. When everyone was finished talking everyone else got to ask each other a question, kind of like “What’s my line” We turned out to be a Nurse, engineer, auto mechanic, secretary, teacher, student, salesperson, cable installer, office manger and HR Manager. Almost like the movie The Breakfast Club Not bad we laughed and joked and had a real good time. Usually this is when I would head for the exit. Find an excuse and just disappear, but before I could find an excuse our host decided it was time for the fun to start.

Donna decided we were going to play an adult scavenger hunt but with a twist. She decided that we would have to go to each of our apt to get what she decided and bring it back and we would go around the room and then in something reminiscent of “Show and Tell” we would present our items. Everyone would get a grade and the winner would get a prize at the end of the night.

“F*&%” I don’t play party games; I mean I really don’t like this stuff. A couple of us begged off but she insisted with a big smile and the kind of look a lot of men have fallen for. How easy a pretty woman can sway me.


The rules were that you had 5 minutes to get what was requested. When everyone came back you to talk about your item and then you would get a grade. If you came back empty handed you got zero points. If you took 7 minutes or more you would loose points and everyone had to take a drink before they took off for their apt. Almost everyone was drinking wine so a sip or two of wine every few minutes would be great. It rained hard most of the day on Friday but it was just sprinkling outside so it was actually pretty easy to go back and forth from her apt to my apt and back.

Her first request was for a baby picture. I took off for my place got my picture and returned. Show and tell began with a couple of naked baby pictures and lots of laughs. The next item was to get was your worst Christmas Gift from this year. One girl got some underwear from her mom that was a size 12. This girl was an easy size 2. She was a little pissed off at her mom. Some one actually got a Chia Pet as a gift and I brought a t-shirt that I got from brother-in- law.

Next came your worst piece of clothing you own, a few of the ladies had some of the most hideous bridesmaids dresses imaginable. One guy had a new Members Only Jacket, Wow!

The following tasks came next:
Bring your yearbook from High School.
The one item in your pantry you have that you won’t eat.
The last book you read, the last CD you bought and the worst movie you own.
The last gift you got from your most recent girlfriend/boyfriend, (3 people were emptied handed, one girl had a huge engagement ring)
Bring your favorite shoes, (must be a girl thing).
Bring your cologne/ perfume for everyone to smell. (I won this)
Bring an article of clothing that your last date left at your apt. (All of the guys lost this one, none of us had anything to bring!)
Best and worst Tatoo, (I lost this one) but I liked the rose in a real personal spot on on gal, Jesus it must have hurt A LOT to get a tatoo in between your thighs, now what I mean.

We all got ten minutes to go onto our computers and bring back our most recent e-mail, even it was Spam or personal print it out and bring it back. Out 10 of us 6 had spam, 3 for prescription drugs, 1 for a real estate loan, 1 for the good old penis enlargement, and the last was for fake watches. My e-mail won it was a customer complaint for my business.

Since everyone was single it was actually fun and before midnight everyone was feeling real good. We watched the ball drop and we all had a drink and then a quick kiss between the girls and guys.





Then it was decided that we would all take a tour of each other’s apt. One of the guys, Jesus jumped up and said he needed to clean his apt before any one came over. “No dice we are going to yours first” every yelled and off we went. Needless to say he was embarrassed with lots of dirty dishes in the sink, bathroom a mess. He was voted “worst bathroom” and “worst kitchen.”
I was voted “cleanest kitchen”, “most organized”, “emptiest fridge” and “best porch” (I was the only one with a BBQ)

There was “best picture on the wall” given out to the gal that had a naked picture of herself hanging up in her bedroom.

The “bedroom you want to do it in.” given to a different gal that had a lot of candles, maybe 100 candles or more and few adult toys, devices and a huge collection of porn, quite kinky.

“Worst collection” was given to the young lady that had a collection of plastic, clay, metal, pewter whatever SNAKES Very freaky. The youngest gal had 20 or 30 stuffed animals on her bed and she had names for each and every single one, she was the runner up.

“Worst furniture” went to the guy with the bricks and board TV organizer. He had a wooden lawn chair in his living room, as this was his only piece of living room furniture besides the college dorm room TV stand. He got “Most in need of Queer Eye for a Straight Guy” makeover”

“Worst lamp” to the guy with the huge parrot from Mexico that he converted into a table top lamp. One gal had a great couch and a wonderful recliner but no tables, no other chairs and a real small desk lamp. She got “Best Couch and Chair in the Dark”

“Best fridge” to the guy with a couple of boxes of tamales from his mom, he passed some out to all of us.

We all went back to Donna’s had a laugh, exchanged e-mail address’, cell phones and business cards. We decided to try to keep in touch and vowed to meet again. The party broke up around 1:30am. That was the latest I had been up in years and I did have a few (5) glasses of wine but I felt great. I went home alone but I definitely didn’t feel lonely.